Every Bunny Has Its Day

The normal distribution is something that's scarily applicable to a host of real world scenarios, and our humble sport of cricket is not exempt from it. Take batting averages for example, there are a few great batsmen, many who sit somewhere in the middle, and those that belong firmly at the bottom of the scrap heap. But every now and then lightning does strike twice, rivers are parted, the book of logic is tossed out the window.

These are the days dear reader, when a bunny rises above the rest.

Tino Best - The Bunny No More
The inspiration of this article, the enigmatic Best was aptly described as a 'Ferrari without a steering wheel'. Andrew Flintoff many years ago told him to "mind the windows" during his turn at the crease and poor old Tino took the bait and went looking to smash the ball into the Indian Ocean. Needless to say he missed it completely and that's all she wrote.

However fast forward a few years and Best returned with a vengeance, he just recently completed the highest Test score by a #11 batsman, ever. His 95 came against the supposed best Test team in the world, in conditions that typically favour bowling, and with surprisingly crisp stroke play with all the charming exuberance of a tail ender. A pleasure to watch, and the West Indians might finally be mustering a comeback.

Also a part time relay runner. © Getty

Glenn McGrath - The King of the Bunnies
A granddaddy of batting abominations, the infamous Glenn McGrath turned the tables on an already hopeless New Zealand team by excavating 61 runs in a strange mixture of leading edges, dropped catches, and a stylish slog sweep for six of Daniel Vettori. A furious Jacob Oram and a bewildered Adam Gilchrist witnessed the impossible become a sad reality, a test match half century for the pigeon and the ultimate insult to New Zealand bowling. Just for the record New Zealand proceeded to be bowled out for 76, just 15 runs more than McGrath.

Fancy a job as a batting coach Glenn? © Adam Pretty / Getty

Makhaya Ntini - The 'Hole In The Bat' Bunny
A surprisingly poor South Africa were consoled by the usually hapless Ntini, as he swung away to a personal record of 42 not out including two sixes. A pleasant surprise indeed from a guy who once clean missed a dead straight pie from Chris Gayle.

Murali - The Bat Swinging Bunny
Sri Lanka were hurtling towards defeat against Bangladesh when the comical batting of Murali took over. He spanked a no-nonsense 33 off 16 balls to steal victory, lighting up an otherwise dour innings that had a run rate hovering around three. Murali at the batting crease is the stuff of legend, you can't fault him for lack of effort even if he does resemble a drunk ballerina at times.

Geoff Allott - The Endurance Bunny
The proud owner of Test history's longest duck, he patted the ball out for a total of 77 balls and 101 minutes... only to be dismissed for a grand total of zero. He even went on to raise his bat in acknowledgement when the hundredth minute clocked up, and this is the closest thing we have had to a #11 centurion.

Chris Martin - The Hare
But then of course there are some unfortunate souls who will never enjoy a day in the sun. Maybe there is a Test 50 lurking around the corner for the enigmatic Chris Martin?

© AFP 

Or maybe there isn't.

Where Art Thy Bowler?

India and Sri Lanka. Two very similar sub-continental teams, both going through the same problems. If you look carefully, both these teams in the test arena especially were built around these key ingredients:


1. One quality spin doctor.

© Getty Images, AFP

2. One quality left arm quick.

© Getty Images, AFP

3. One seriously flat deck.

© Getty Images, AFP

The bowling recipe quite literally went as far as this save for a few dopey missed selections (Mendis, Zoysa, M.Kartik) and some early unwanted retirements (Malinga). Hampering the situation are those who didn't retire when they should (Harbhajan), flash-in-the-pan players (Sreesanth,  Fernando) and an assortment of other rubbish (Agarkar). Inevitably, the whole job was left to the number one spin man and his able deputy. And so the game plan became quite literally:

• Post 500+
• Take the game to the fifth day.
• Toss the ball to the spinner.
• Bring out the champagne.

Of course this didn't work very well overseas, but lately they at least manage to secure drawn results and push their way up the rankings. 

But times have changed! Injuries to Zaheer, the retirements of Kumble and Murali, and the ignorance of Vaas have turned the tables. England and Australia have begun to expose this, showing us all that once the ageing batting machines misfire, there is almost nothing left to save the day. As I write, Sri Lanka are on the verge of a series loss to Australia at home, and India are going through a series in England without a single victory.

Why? Because these teams owed so much to the lion-hearted efforts of these four. Manfully they would toil away on dead pitches single handedly, without regret and often with less credit than they deserve. Especially Kumble, he was just as important as any Tendulkar or Dravid. And now that they are gone, the blind optimism that the backup bowlers could take over the mantle is being shown for the ridiculous notion it is. They have neither the mettle nor the skill.

To what do we owe this? The batting tracks don't help for once, neither does the rise of Twenty 20 cricket and the IPL. Nobody seems to want to grow up and be a quality bowler from these two nations, and the results are beginning to show. Cricket is a simple game, there is a team consisting of batsmen, bowlers, and a wicket-keeper. If you go in with no bowlers, expect to lose.

This is a salute to the heroes who didn't get their due credit. At The Cricket Musings, you are gone but not forgotten, remember the only guarantees in life are death, taxes and a Chris Martin duck.