Showing posts with label chris gayle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chris gayle. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

The Super Smash Conundrum

In the continual flood of domestic T20 hooey raining upon us all year wide; athletes formerly known as cricketers strut about in coloured pyjamas engaging in high powered baseball cricket.  It's been on for a few years now, and with time it became clear that the IPL and the Big Bash reign supreme among the various PLs' in Pakistan, Bangladesh, The Caribbean and England.

But more importantly, and rather sadly, it became clear which of these tournaments didn't rise to the top, New Zealand's very own fast food variety, the Super Smash.

While one might not be a resounding advocate of T20, we have to accept it exists, it's here to stay, and even may even go as far as deserving its place as an energetic crowd-pull over a couple of lazy beers.

Our flavour is no different to the rest of the leagues, in theory at least; a series of domestic level teams tearing apart a torrent of bowling mediocrity, partaken on postage stamps as each forgettable match follows another until we have an equally forgettable 'champion'.

The difference is, our version is dead; but perhaps with a bit of foresight and imagination it doesn't have to be this way.



Two ways we can instantly fix it:

1. Bring In The People
Granted, it's not easy to plan around an international calendar for all three formats of the game, but there needs to be a deliberate effort made to get a T20 window blocked out. Guess what already found success in New Zealand? Rugby Sevens and Auckland Nines. 

Putting the fun in fun-sized, the heavily concentrated and time-boxed events worked wonders simply because they were easy to plan for and commit to; they packed a quick punch and it was over with without saturating it's potential.

Could this work for cricket? In T20 absolutely.

A one month tournament is insanely long, we simply do not have the spectator base to hold up that level of interest.  Trim it to a week.  

We only have six teams and have the ability to crack through two games a day - no different to a day out during a regular ODI match. If everyone plays each other once, that's 15 games + 1 final, easily done.  Turn each venue into a real carnival; milk it with fan zones, player meets, and the sureshot option of handing out free stuff.  Why not dish out free data spots offered by a happy sponsor?

Unlike vanilla cricket this is the chance to get creative, at the moment there simply isn't enough imagination.

2. Bring In The Players
Now that there's bums on seats, we need action.  The lack of cricketing star power has plagued our domestic competition for decades, there simply never is enough emotional investment.

Now with all due respect to the Carl Cachopas' and Scott Kuggeligns' of our world, the future of our sport needs to be playing alongside our top graders to develop themsleves and importantly truly get our attention. The team sheets are simply not magnetic enough to register on most radars.   We gamely try to give the competition TV & radio coverage, but this is all akin to Roger Federer's presence in Auckland in 2000. A diamond in the making is simply a lump of rock.

What do we really want to see?

We want to see Brendon McCullum ruthlessly charging Trent Boult, the way he audaciously attacked Dale Steyn and Mitchell Johnson.  Boult retaliates, rapping one into his ribs, McCullum then tries to counter but it nips back in a touch and he loses his pegs. Our country's best bowler versus our most lunatic batsman, now that I'll make time for.

How about Ish Sodhi fire through Ross Taylor like a hot curry with that wicked wrong'un, fresh after a couple of Taylor patented slog sweeps have disappeared into the banks.   Will a Tim Southee yorker land or get hit clean out of the ground by Martin Guptill?  Does the old fox Daniel Vettori still have a trick or two, or will the forgotten Jesse Ryder bash him out of the attack?

The Super Smash, should, have your answers. At the moment it's not asking questions.

If you start to introduce stakes to the game, then you might attract more riches - the Pollards' and Pietersens' of the world.  Get enough West Indians here and you might even get Chris Gayle touching NZ soil in the one format he really cares about.  Now there's a crowd puller.

Why not throw in a mandatory couple of under-19 players?  Cash in on a bit of free talent exposure.



These little encounters are the stuff of cricket, especially this brand of cricket.  It is designed to be grandiose and gladiatorial; what use is that without gladiators?

Cricket Max made the same mistake two decades ago, remember Carl Bulfin anyone? 

Thursday, February 12, 2015

It's World Cup Time!

Just a matter of hours until the 2015 Cricket World Cup kicks off !!



And this time I won't be battling petty annoyances like time differences. This is without doubt the pinnacle event of cricket, the one tournament that demands undivided attention among all cricket fans.

I was 7 years old when the 1992 edition was hosted in Australia and New Zealand. Forget calling that a distant memory, it isn't a memory at all... and that makes this edition even more special with cricket's showcase event right here in our humble back yard.

Why Should We Care?

There is no test match championship, there is instead a dodgy ranking system which nobody really understands or pays attention to.  So with the 'pure' form of the game not having a marquee tournament, this fifty over World Cup becomes the closest thing we have to gauge which cricketing nation is the best in the world.

Does it truly reflect the greatest team?

Australia rampaged through a triple strike from 1999 - 2007 when they were clearly the best in the business, so that made sense. But then again South Africa constantly under-achieve, New Zealand constantly over-achieve and Sri Lanka pulled off an underdogs dream in 1996 without dominating before or after.

The answer then? Yes and no... two months of good cricket is enough to win the cup but is hard to pull off unless it is really deserved.

So Who Will Win in 2015?

It's a cliché, but his is truly one of the most open world cups in a long time. Ever since Australia climbed a few rungs down the latter it became largely an open playing field among the big guns.

Let's have a go at the order of likelihood to win:

Unfortunately we have to write off UAE, Afghanistan and Scotland. I always welcome the little guys but again there are a few too many soft games coming our way. Of this group, Scotland is the most likely to pull a surprise.

Bangladesh and Zimbabwe are capable of much more but can't seem to get it together.

The West Indies won't show up among their political and selection battles, poor Jason Holder has to carry this hopeless mob on his young shoulders.

Ireland will annoy one or two teams, may there be plenty of Irish luck.

England are a poor ODI squad, they are all noise and hot air.  Led by an Irishman who pretends they aren't scared of Mitchell Johnson, it's pretty hard to back the poms to go beyond the quarters.

Sri Lanka rely too much on their ageing old boys club, there is surprisingly little else going on in their line-up. If Malinga turns up fit though then there could be surprises.

Pakistan are the joker card of the pack, capable of anything and at the same time nothing. They are the gambling man's bet, although on paper though they are disappointingly inexperienced and average this time.


This leaves.....

New Zealand, who were dubbed by AB de Villiers as "World Cup favorites" not long ago... right before he and his men thumped us. A nice piece of reverse psychology! The fact is we finally have the talent for once, and that might actually go against us. We're famous for sneaking into semi-finals unnoticed but this time all the big boys will be watching closely.

Australia and India are two teams never to be written off, both are cocky and annoying but they have genuine match winners littered in there and a genuine hunger to succeed. Always beware the wounded Aussie, however India will have to overcome their horrifically poor bowling and fielding.

South Africa are the most complete team in the world, and yet you can never confidently say they won't pull out their token choke.


Some predictions then:

Winner: South Africa
Deserved Runner Up: Australia
Unlucky Semi Finalist: New Zealand

Most Runs: Hashim Amla
Most Wickets: Dale Steyn
Best Strike Rate: Shahid Afridi
Best Economy Rate: Daniel Vettori
Most Sixes: Brendon McCullum

Meaningless but pretty 20 Award: Shane Watson
Last Man Standing Award: Misbah ul Haq
Disappointing Golden Duck Award: Chris Gayle
Reverse Pull Slog on 99 Award: Glenn Maxwell
The "Why Me" Award: Jason Holder
The Shut Up Award: James Brayshaw (Big men and big levers!?)

Player Most Missed: Dwayne Bravo
Player Most Missed (by opposition):  Ishant Sharma

Let the games begin!



Thursday, June 6, 2013

The ICC Champions Trophy History (and Preview)

So here we are in England for the last edition of the ICC Knockout / Mini World Cup / ICC Champions Trophy / Thing.

This is a strange little tournament purposely offset in between the 'real' fifty over world cups, designed to be a quick-smart affair all over in a couple of weeks (take note IPL). However fifty over cricket must die according to the powers that be, and the idea has now been thrown out and we won't see it again.

I'm going to disagree with the majority and say that I like the tournament. This would be the only other time that all the leading teams of world cricket will be assembled.  That was until the rise of T20 cricket came along and demanded its own little World Cup, and the other problem is that a couple of the tournaments did suck and slipped in and out of memory without much of a second thought.  Here's hoping for a memorable showing in the next fortnight to resurrect interest.

Let's have a quick look at its history:

1998 - South Africa Finally Wins Something
... and it's the only cricketing tournament they have ever won. There was a Tendulkar pummelling that eliminated Australia, but apart from that it was a pretty ho-hum affair.

2000 - The Cairns Show
India were on a nice roll courtesy of a pair of Ganguly tons and young renegades on debut namely Yuvraj Singh and Zaheer Khan, both of who were responsible for again dismantling Australia in the quarter final. The script was set for India, but they hit a roadblock in the form of a "how did they get this far anyway" New Zealand team.  Chris Cairns fired one of his few shots as a gun batsman, and stomped all over a lazy Indian performance in the final.

I remember that day because it was one of those rare occasions the patented Fleming Frown disappeared, at least for a while.

"Why couldn't I be Australian". © Getty

2002 - The Rise of Young India 
Some trash was tossed, a bunch of young swashbucklers came in, and combined with some old pros India suddenly had a team that was worthy of challenging the world. Sehwag blew England away, Yuvraj and Bhajji stole it from the Saffa's and it was them and the Sri Lankan's left to face off in the final...

... which turned out to be a farce rivalling the shameful 2007 World Cup Final. After a first day washout with one full innings they chose to replay the game, only for another washout, with one full innings. Sri Lanka batted twice, India didn't bat at all. The series was tied and stupidity was the only winner.

2004 - The West Indies Miracle
They should never have won this, but somehow the West Indies fought back from 147-8 with no real batsmen left to chase down 217 and steal it from England, who did the hard work of dispatching Australia. That 8th wicket partnership was famous, but the manic celebrations that followed were the stuff of legend. Oh West Indies we missed you, too bad this was a flash in the pan and they went into hiding again.

2006 - The West Indies Implosion
This time the West Indies went absolutely crazy, mainly none other than Chris Gayle. His list of achievements included:

  • Giving Michael Clarke a verbal spray about second class citizens
  • Hurling the ball over the keeper for free overthrows
  • Hopping about left and right and circling the air after bowling out Symonds 
  • Easing to a bizarrely sedate century against England
  • Smashing South Africa out of the tournament with another century
  • Most runs, four man of the match awards and man of the tournament
"Earl Grey or English Breakfast?" © Getty

It got really weird in the final as he went on to blitz the world's best bowling attack all around the place, leading them to 80 runs in the first 8 overs. "Unfinished business" he said, and after their pool play victory they looked set to win it all.

Unfortunately the business went into liquidation once Bracken bowled the ball of the tournament, and the slide that followed was one of the many famous Calypso Collapso's (described in full here). Australia had finally won one of these tournaments.

2009 - The Forgettable One
A much quieter affair this time as most teams fought evenly and intriguingly at first, but were blown away with ease by Australia, depressingly leading the pack miles ahead of the rest much like the 2007 World Cup. A plucky New Zealand lot emerged from the ashes and worked their way into the final, but a Vettori injury sealed that fate swiftly.

2013 - So Who Will Win This Time?
Let's have some predictions:
  • Chris Gayle will go crazy at least once.... and then fail when it really matters.
  • South Africa will lose a game they should have won.
  • Sri Lanka's middle order will let them down
  • India will collapse spectacularly, during which Kohli will yell at someone and Dhoni will remain not out
  • Pakistan will come with a hiss and a roar, but will quietly disappear.
  • Australia will fail miserably (I predicted this before the 65 all out)
  • England will scratch their heads still not realizing they are not as good as they think they are.

This leaves my winner.... NEW ZEALAND. 

Yes I'm calling it; the humble land of the long white cloud will claim their second title and shall forever remain ICC Trophy Champions.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The 2013 Cricket Wish List

I'm not sure who this letter is addressed to, the ICC? The Cricketing Gods? Santa?

Whoever it may be, I have been a good cricket fanatic last year and I feel I am entitled to see the metaphorical stockings hanging over my fireplace filled with cricketing goodies. So here goes then, my wish list:

1. New Zealand Survive 5 Days
An administrators nightmare, the recent South Africa series had whole days featuring an empty stadium. Wouldn't it be nice to see my home country not embarrass ourselves and actually survive the new ball, build a real innings and not concede 500 all the time? South Africa didn't even bother sledging as Vernon Philander aptly put it, "I don't think you have to say much if they are 45 all out".

Ouch. © AFP

What will probably happen: 
I may get my wish but only because the Black Caps made friends with some rain clouds.

2. The DRS Finally Stays
I wish that the ICC grow up and start doing their actual job. This involves a kick up BCCI's backside and using our god given technological powers for the good of our beloved sport. If Dhoni was correctly given out yesterday's match would have had a whole new complexion. The days of dodgy umpiring dictating a match are over, or at least should be.

What will probably happen: 
Nothing.

3. The Champions Trophy is a Hit
I am in a minority but I actually like the 50 over tournament which works nicely as a quick-smart world cup event, bringing all the world teams together a bit more regularly than four years. Its only 15 games and it takes less than a month, if we can fit the IPL we can fit this.

What will probably happen: 
I will be writing an obituary for the Champions Trophy in June.

4. The IPL Flops
Which brings me to this. The IPL has run its course now as the guilty pleasure form of cricket and needs to take a firm back seat, especially after the way its mutilated Indian cricket. With the downfall of that dreaded team should come the downfall (or at least watering down) of this too-frequent annual event which dead halts all meaningful cricket for a month.

What will probably happen: 
Money talks unfortunately, business shall continue.

5. The West Indies Deliver
Its about time we saw a strong West Indies and finally they have eleven men who can actually do it. They have a willing leader, Chris Gayle, adequate support for Chris Gayle, real all-rounders, a quality spinner and some decent (but not great) quicks. We haven't seen this in about fifteen years and their time has finally come. First stop, Australia.

What will probably happen: 
Gayle gets injured, Samuels gets banned at the wrong time and therefore they lose the matches that matter.

6. Somebody Drops Gambhir
I should get this wish pretty shortly. Has anyone had a more blessed run after nearly two years of nothing in every form of the game? Well, he has contributed his big mouth with his "we'll see you at home" tirade after getting towelled in Australia. Fat lot of good that did son.

What will probably happen: 
Your guess is as good as mine with Indian selectors. He'll make a century soon (in India of course and after offering two dropped catches) and the feeble minded administrators will jump for joy at what a fine player he is. He'll secure his selection for another six months and then run himself out on 101.

Bring it on 2013!

Friday, June 17, 2011

West Indies vs India - Series Review

An interesting series indeed! Rather than dawdle towards a predicted 5-0 whitewash, given how useless the West Indies are on paper, they showed some serious mettle and turned in a respectable 3-2 loss. India, sending in a B team, will be happy with the series win, but at what cost? Lets review the highlights.

Pace and Bounce!
Lo and behold not every pitch is a dead batting track! What a difference it makes when Roach and Russell are steaming in with a purpose, threatening to bash a few helmets and rip out a few fingers. We saw glimpses of the good old days, and the Indian batsman, barring few, were absolutely clueless.

The likes of Dhawan, Tiwary and Badrinath are big scorers back at home, here they look like school kids, fending away nervously and having neither the technique nor the temperament to survive. We saw this in the World Twenty 20 last year, and we saw it again. Give them a real pitch with real bowlers, and they have no idea.

Some West Indies Batting Spunk
Well its about time we saw a couple of young West Indians throwing the bat around and digging themselves out the rot. Some preferred to keep batting in slow motion (Samuels, Sarwan), but those who took some initiative a la Lendl Simmons and Andre Russell, really pulled the West Indies out of the moat. Russell in particular is a real delight to watch, a young whippersnapper with the right attitude and plenty of that famous West Indian swagger. A big future prospect.


The Michael Jackson of cricket is born. © Associated Press


The New Spin Doctors
Amit Mishra topped the wickets tally for both sides with a great economy rate of 3.98. He made the West Indian top order look extremely silly, and with Bhajji and Ashwin contributing next to nothing with the ball, he could well have cemented himself a spot. A new boy in the West Indies, Anthony Martin also made his mark with eight wickets and some hilarious press conference swagger. "Nobody destroys me on my pitch" he says, and its about time!

The Report Cards
And so The Cricket Musings will now play headmaster and grade the performances.

West Indies
Lendl Simmons - (7). A real trier, as he showed against Pakistan also. This puts him above most of his peers already.
Kirk Edwards - (2). Absolutely woeful, and should never be seen again.
Adrian Barath - (no score)
Ramnaresh Sarwan - (7). Somehow ended up with the most runs with an average of 54. He is nowhere near the old Sarwan but started to find his prime in game five.
Darren Bravo - (6). A frustrating player given that he is supremely talented. One hopes that he only needs time to become one of the moderns greats.
Marlon Samuels - (5). Good to see him back but only showed glimpses of his talented self. Needs to convert his starts.
Kieron Pollard - (6). Has the potential to become the West Indian Flintoff, if he just gets his priorities in order.
Carlton Baugh - (6). Gets more points for trying to at least build an innings and stick around. Formed some crucial partnerships and was handy with the gloves.
Darren Sammy - (3). As a bits and pieces player, he is contributing far too little and is quickly becoming a dead weight.
Andre Russell - (9). The find of the tournament. Not only did he belt more runs than most of the 'batsmen', he chimed in with eight wickets and lively pace. Another star in the making, we hope.
Dwayne Bravo - (2). Turned up for two matches when he needn't have. Go back to the IPL.
Danza Hyatt - (1). Two innings and one run. Goodnight.
Ravi Rampaul - (4). A mixed bag before being strangely rested for the remainder of the series.
Anthony Martin - (7). Eight wickets and a great attitude to boot. Another good find.
Devendra Bishoo - (5). Showed us how useful he is after a good world cup, but needs more game time.
Kemar Roach - (6). Didn't get many wickets, but Roach was key in getting the Indians hopping around.

India
Parthiv Patel - (5). Showed that he is handy at the top, but starts are not good enough.
Shikhar Dhawan - (3). Was awful with his 'defend-or-slog' mentality. Should not be seen again at this level.
Virat Kohli - (7). Lack of UDRS and the constant hailing as 'the future of Indian cricket' didn't help him. Be quiet and let the man bat.
S. Badrinath - (2). Atrocious technique against the short ball, again a huge reminder of the gap between Ranji Trophy and real cricket.
Manoj Tiwary - (2). Equally bad, will not make runs outside of India.
Rohit Sharma - (8). A huge learning curve and without him, India could have lost this 5-0. He needs more chances.
Suresh Raina - (3). Irresponsibly poor shot selection in crucial stages. Certainly no leader with the bat.
Yusuf Pathan - (1). Shocker. Badly needs a reminder that not every match is the IPL, and maybe some meditation.
Harbhajan Singh - (6). Steady with the ball and hard to get away. But as usual no wickets.
Praveen Kumar - (6). Really gets the ball to talk, and will be a good foil for Zaheer Khan.
Amit Mishra - (8). Great bowling, ensuring that the clueless West Indian top order could not build a solid total.
R. Ashwin - (4). Disappointing show, and completely outclassed by Mishra.
Munaf Patel - (8). Had my doubts about him, but he proved me wrong with accurate, no-nonsense bowling.
R. Vinay Kumar - (no score)
Ishant Sharma - (2). Is this really the same Ishant who had Ponting hopping around? A ghost.

So just for fun, lets average out these scores:
West Indies - 5.01 / 10
India - 4.64 / 10

Conclusion: These are two seriously bad teams.

It is wishful thinking, but by some miracle the poor standard of cricket might inspire the cricket boards and lazy players to actually turn up next time and make this the showpiece event it could have been. But given recent events, anything of the sort is only a distant dream.

A dream where Gayle isn't just a spectator with bad hair. © AFP

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

On 'Retirements', Misplaced Priorities and Crazy Selectors

Cricket is never free of controversy. As Sri Lanka blunder their way to a ridiculous test defeat (more on that to come), and Team Dhoni, the only real team, defeat Chris Gayle to take away the IPL championship, there has been plenty of other fun things happening under the carpet.

Afridi Retires
Pakistan cricket needs to redefine this word. According to most of us and our dear friend Google, it is "(an athlete) Ceasing to play competitively"Ceasing, meaning that's it, no more, zip, get the retirement cake. However, retirements in Pakistan are more like a self imposed holiday, often based around a money political problem and a resulting desperate plea for help. A real employer would tell them to find another job.

If only.

Shahid Afridi is the latest to 'conditionally retire' (!) until a new cricket board is in place. In other words, blackmail. Notice the strategic placement, Pakistan after this current Ireland series do not have a single confirmed tour in the months to come. A great time to 'retire' and create a ruckus against the PCB about your lack of money humiliation.

Tendulkar Refuses the West Indies
This is a wildly divided opinion. Some say if there is anyone in world cricket who is allowed to be choosy about his international tours, it is Sachin Tendulkar. Given all those dark years in the nineties he braved through single handedly, the man is allowed a break and special favors given his invaluable service to Indian cricket.

And then there are the other guys who go on to say that Tendulkar should be a role model for the game and pick international commitments over the IPL clown fest. This is twice he has done it, he gave up the last World Twenty 20 tournament after an IPL season, and now he is doing the same to rob the West Indian locals of a last glimpse at the man's talents. How can a young Pollard learn to get his priorities right when the legends of the game are doing exactly the same thing? There can be no other motivation other than money, of which Tendulkar has plenty of surely.

This is the side of the fence that I also sit on. Where do you sit?

He sides with the Money Mumbai Indians © AFP

And Finally... The WCB Strike Again
And we thought the PCB had issues. Still no Chris Gayle or Shiv Chanderpaul, and only the ghost of Sarwan remains in the team. Despite the fact that their two best players are fit and able, as Gayle showed us in a brutal 'in your face' display at the IPL (the best thing by far the IPL had to offer), Gayle is still left out of the squad to face India. Now I am no cricket board, but surely I need a long hard look at myself if I am in complete refusal to pick the only two players who can win you matches.

Often left bemused and devoid of an answer, this time I do offer a solution.

Sack them all.

Make Gayle captain. Start again. ... And hire Micheal Holding as a technical advisor.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

West Indies vs Pakistan - The Series That Wasn't

It was almost as if it never happened. The Pakistani's quietly took away a 3-2 victory over the West Indies, and with a minimum of fuss and exposure, we will move on to the test series soon. Blink and you'd have missed it, particularly since cricket headlines have been surrounded with "Gayle Smashes Unbelievable Ton!" and the like.

But lets wonder for a minute, what if both the West Indies and Pakistan had picked the absolute best teams available to them? What if the cricket world was free of injuries, the IPL, spot fixing, and dodgy selections?

And the odd spontaneous trip to London. © Associated Press

The Real Pakistan

1. Salman Butt (c)
2. Mohammad Hafeez
3. Ahmed Shahzad
4. Mohammad Yousuf
5. Misbah Ul-Haq
6. Shahid Afridi
7. Abdul Razzaq
8. Zulqarnain Haider (w)
9. Mohammad Aamir
10. Umar Gul
11. Mohammad Asif

Unlucky: Saeed Ajmal, very good backup at least.
Unwanted: The trigger happy Akmals and Younis Khan, who looks more and more weary all the time.

Look at that bowling line-up, easily the best in the world in fact if they fielded that squad. Afridi is a little over animated (if there is such a thing) as captain, and would prefer Butt to take the reins.

The Real West Indies


1. Chris Gayle (c)
2. Adrian Barath
3. Darren Bravo
4. Ramnaresh Sarwan
5. Shiv Chanderpaul
6. Kieron Pollard
7. Dwayne Bravo
8. Devon Thomas (w)
9. Kemar Roach
10. Jerome Taylor
11. Devendra Bishoo


Unlucky: Darren Sammy. I like the guy, but he just doesn't quite contribute enough, more like a poor man's Vettori at this stage. Fidel Edwards, Ravi Rampaul and Andre Russell wait in the wings as adequate backup. I like Dwayne Smith, he could slot in as a backup Pollard, who I don't like but admit has talent.


Unwanted: Suliemann Benn, full marks for attitude, but not much for impact. 

No extra points for tossing players around either. © Getty

Who would win that series? It doesn't matter! Look at those line-ups, and even if Pakistan came away 3-2 just like it transpired, the matches would have been infinitely more interesting than what looked like a Pakistan A tour of West Indies A. We would have the dream bowling attack versus the most colorful and explosive batting line-up.


Of the teams listed, only four from either side were in the current teams. In a perfect world the players would be free of politics, greed and corruption, and we would be treated to cricket at its highest quality.


Too bad then that we don't live in a perfect world.

Monday, May 2, 2011

The IPL Horrors Lumber On

And so the craze, the indulgence, the ego trip drones on yet again. The IPL is a sharp plummet in cricket quality from the world cup event we just witnessed and enjoyed, this is more like a drunken after party before the real cricket begins again.

Lets set one thing straight. I like Twenty20 cricket. I believe it does have a place in the cricketing calendar, it is short, entertaining, and its all over quickly, sort of like a fun-size mars bar. It serves as a great live spectator sport, and for a while there everybody understood this, teams played along for a quick bit of fun before the real tour began.

Yep, not taking it seriously. © Getty

And then India won the Twenty20 World Cup. You see, India weren't even on board to start with. It took off in England and Pakistan, along with a handful of internationals. But after India took the honours in that admittedly fun little event, things went overboard. The love child that spawned became a cricketing monster, driven by the idea of milking the concept completely dry. The abomination known as the IPL was born, and here its legacy:

1. Overpaid Players
We all know that professional sports players are paid obscenely. Try Fernando Torres being bought for €58.5m, or (I love this one) Latrell Sprewell rejecting a $21m (USD) contract because he had "a family to feed". I guess he fathers a small island.

Cricket was once exempt from this madness, but the IPL changed all that. Gone are the day where you earn an honest pay packet and put pride above all else. Now we are talking $2.4m (US) for a couple of months of trigger happy madness. It seems like small change compared to other sporting codes, but look at our international cricketers flock to the gold. It will come to a stage were players will give up international commitments to turn out for the Nagpur Nobodys (the West Indies leading by example already).

2. Bollywood Meets Cricket
If I wanted to see Shah Rukh Khan and friends dancing, hamming, and drowning in their petty games, I know where to go, the nearest cinema. We let you have your bollywood movies, it's ok to be a fan, but please leave cricket alone.

Ugh. © AFP

3. Force Fed Advertising
Money money money, again. We have advertising thrown at us with such ferocity, between overs, between balls (!) and even during the live game by cutting the screen into an L-shape advertisement. The sponsorship banners and logos are sprawled everywhere on the ground, the boundries, and on the players kits. Everyone is out to make a quick buck, and it hurts my eyes.

4. Unfair Cricket
Ponder this. You are a young indian fast bowler looking to press for national selection, your strengths are good line and length with a hint of swing. Your assignment is Adam Gilchrist with a license to kill. Your constraints are shortened boundary ropes, a sea of spectators screaming for sixes and a pitch resembling dead wood. They might as well decapitate you too.

How are the domestic level Indian cricketers supposed to develop their trade? Bowlers get smashed everywhere, and only exceptions like Malinga have the tools to cope. Batting skills such as working the gaps, finding the singles, running between the wickets... all gone. Despite the world cup victory, Indian cricket is going through a massive shortage of good bowlers and test match level batsmen, and this is the very reason.

5. Dumb Commentary
These are real excerpts of cricinfo commentary:
  • Rayuduuuuuu! Whaddaplayaaaaa!
  • Clatterrrrrrrr! Don't mess with Malinga! 
  • ... he walks down and tries to work it to leg but ends up with a thick outside-edge that flies over and over third man! Wow!
  • ...oh he has literally smoked the pants off that one!
  • snuff is snuff, says McCullum
There is a fine line between flair and idiocy. And this is just text commentary, the audio commentators take it to another level, wailing in their chorus of never ending praise of "outstanding batting" and "incredible shot". 


6. The 'Team' Culture

There was a bit of team culture being developed over the seasons with familiar faces partnering each other, however this was all down the toilet with the ridiculous idea of putting all the players back in the lolly scramble. Name three players in the Bangalore Royal Challengers? 

"Of course, thats Dravid's team, along with Kallis, Uthappa... "
"Uh actually, Dravid is in the Royals, Kallis in Kolkata, Uthappa Pune."
"Pune? A new team?"
"Two new teams, them and the Kochi Tuskers."
"Tuskers!? From a land with a bad reputation of elephant poaching! But hey at least we see Kallis and Gayle together, exciting!"
"Actually... Gayle is in Bangalore now".
"..."


The Final Word
Given a bit of restraint (something not possible with Indian cricket), the IPL could have worked as a two week glamor event. Some of the games in this latest edition were actually a bit of fun, but two months of this? Those naysayers who complain about the world cup length are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites. The only cricket serving we have is this biffathon and the West Indies A vs Pakistan series (yawn). 


Somebody save us.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

To Gayle Or Not To Gayle

What to do with this man.

Clearly the best West Indian batsman, we find him plundering IPL bowlers around instead of coming to the aid of his miserable national side, currently being bossed around by Pakistan at home. Pakistani youngsters bullying the West Indies in their back yard? A truly sad state, rock bottom has been their only dwelling for ten years, and they don't look like moving house.

This latest soap opera epitomizes the state of West Indies cricket in the past decade. Confusions, accusations, dodgy selections, sour sponsorship deals, IPL lust, Allan Stanford. What a mess. As long as these moments of lunacy continue to hover, this is a team that will never get out of its slumber.

In the middle of it all is this is Chris Gayle. The talismanic figure always stands out and becomes the forefront of compliments or criticism, perhaps unfairly too. Unlike the obviously selfish Pollard, Gayle claims to had written off the IPL for international commitments, saying he should be playing for the West Indies. The board claims they tried to 'reach out' to him, blaming Gayle. Just what the heck is going on?

Does he even merit selection? Lets have a look at his ODI stats in the past two years against the other top eight teams:


Career averages (ODI)
MatRunsHSBat Av100WktsBBIBowl Av5CtSt
unfiltered2288087153*39.06191565/4635.081990
filtered224386420.85042/3898.00070



Yuck. Maybe the selectors had a point. Maybe he too is selfish? Only seeming to find form in the money hungry format of the game. But then again, lets look at the so called 'purest' form of the game:


Career averages (Test)
MatRunsHSBat Av100WktsBBIBowl Av5CtSt
unfiltered91637333341.6513725/3441.592850
filtered1197233354.00321/254.00070

So the man has been firing in T20 cricket and Test cricket, but has been a complete failure in the 50 over format of the game. I give up.

Some things just cannot be explained. © AFP

The man is an enigma. He is a symbol, a reflection of the chaotic nature of West Indian cricket. A last minute SOS call for Gayle might result in a momentum seizing century or a golden duck.

He is just that kind of player.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Meet The New West Indies

Otis Gibson wasn't kidding around when he said it was time to clean out the attic.

The latest news is that the three big names of West Indies cricket have got the chop in the upcoming series against Pakistan. Thats right, no Gayle, no Sarwan, no Chanderpaul. Interesting move, bold move. Ripping out the West Indian spine will do one of two things, either form a new backbone, or collapse into a mush.  Is it fair to blame these three for the woes of the 00's and the sorry world cup run?

No Gayle
Easily the most influential and dynamic player of the team for such a long time. He is the big name, the draw card, the one who captains talk up the toss. He had a poor world cup, but find me a West Indian batsman who didn't. Of the three, I find this the most bitter pill to swallow, the man looks lazy, but he most certainly isn't. It was him to told Suliemann Benn to get lost when he refused to listen to him remember?

No Sarwan
This I agree with. The man looked as scratchy as ever and is completely stuck in the mud. A real shame given that he was promised to succeed Lara as the next big thing, he might well have too if he steered clear of injuries and politics. But for now, he is a dead anchor in the team and there may be a chance we'll never see him again.

No Chanderpaul
This is sad but probably correct move. He has been a barnacle in the side, clutching on and fighting manfully against the waves of mediocrity around him. I for one was a big fan of the Gayle-Chanderpaul opening combination, but nobody else was it seems. Now it has become a bit of an identity crisis, is he a Gilchrist? a Mark Richardson? a Michael Bevan? He had shades of all, but at the moment he is neither, and with another world cup looking pretty unlikely, the walls are closing in on one of the real street fighters of the game.

The end of the road? © Associated Press

Adding to this....

No Pollard
The man has Mumbai Indians commitments folks. Get this quote: "It was mutually determined that Pollard would be best served by being allowed to hone his T20 skills in the Indian Premier League, which will bring future benefit to West Indies cricket..." . What a load of trash. Michael Holding once said he doesn't regard Pollard as a cricketer. I will correct him, he is not a West Indian cricketer. Sadly it won't be long before others follow his lead and play his selfish card, to send the West Indies into further decline.

The only thing being "honed" here is the Pollard bank balance.

Marlon Samuels!
On the positive side, after copping a ban for involvement with bookmakers, the man who once bashed Warne around and earned Steve Waugh's respect is back in the fame. If their upcoming opponents had to deal with corruption bans, it would be an empty plane flying into the Carribean.

It was Pakistan who embarrassed the West Indies in a ridiculous defeat in the quarter final. Who will prevail in what can be termed a revenge match? Depends if Pakistan turn up, and thats a whole different story altogether.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

World Cup 2011 - The Final Scramble

So here we are with seven games left of pool play. If we discount two of the smaller games, that leaves five very important matches, important for some because it could mean advancing or heading home in misery, important for others because it will define the final pool standings (and who will get the 'easy games', if you could call them that). Lets take a look at whats at stake in the big five matches:

England vs West Indies
Importance: Very High
England lose, they go home. Do they deserve to go? I would say yes, you cannot turn up to a World Cup and only get up for the big matches. Losing to both Ireland and Bangladesh should mean that you are on your bike. The West Indies on the other hand have points to prove. They have brushed off the minnows, and now need to show the world they are not pretenders against the bigger boys.

Lets not forget the Gayle factor either. © Associated Press

New Zealand vs Sri Lanka
Importance: Medium
I mentioned earlier, Sri Lanka is not Pakistan. New Zealand, for incredibly odd reasons, have chosen to rest a mostly healthy Vettori and Mills. I can understand bubble wrapping some players, but surely for a team desperate to hold on to momentum you would want your fittest XI possible? Sri Lanka should get home here with Malinga being the difference.

Bangladesh vs South Africa
Importance: High
Bangladesh's date with destiny. If they win here, they will qualify, which is huge. Their best approach would be to apply a spin based choke, and then hopefully having a target small enough to chase down. Tamim has yet to really fire up, this could be his big game. South Africa on the other hand will be looking to top the table with a win here.

Australia vs Pakistan
Importance: High
Believe it or not, this could be Australia's only real big game before the playoffs, given that rain and inept batting played spoilsport earlier. This is a mouth watering contest between yin and yang, the well drilled and consistent Aussies versus the sublime-or-ridiculous Pakistanis. Impossible to call, but the winner will win huge psychological ground.

India vs West Indies
Importance: Medium
Both teams have more or less qualified, with the West Indies an outside chance of going home early. The real question is, who is the bigger pretender? India's are beginning to creak under their glaring weaknesses, while the West Indies have had flattering results and big players lying dormant. Roach will be key.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

World Cup 2011 - Week 1 Preview

And finally after the bizarre warm up matches, we are ready for the real deal. The easiest way to follow the events of the world cup was to divide into weeks (Saturday to Friday intervals) and look at each one in turn. So here we go, week 1:

The Form Book
The warm up matches definitely told a story or two. India, Sri Lanka and South Africa look in good nick while Australia looks particularly vulnerable. Don't buy into that  though, they do not start world cups well but seem to pull it together when it really matters, sort of like a reverse South Africa. England look iffy as always. Pakistan and West Indies look a bit flat but could turn it around. Bangladesh are pumped, and New Zealand are simply woeful. Of course these were just warm up games with nothing at stake, the form guide could go out the window very quickly.

Key Matches
Bangladesh vs India
This is a massive game. Bangladesh at home are good enough to upset the Indians, particularly if they are overconfident from an easy win over the Black Craps. Don't forget their batting was inept against Australia. Bangladesh will be up for a fight, Sehwag calls this the 'revenge match' for the 2007 dumping in their hands (I hope Sehwag gets a duck). India should edge out a close match.

#1 on my world cup wish list. © AFP

South Africa vs West Indies
This should be good provided the West Indies turn up. They certainly have the batting resources, particularly with Sarwan picking up a century. South Africa have the edge in everything else. If Chris Gayle fires, the odds change dramatically, but the match could just as easily turn into a pasting.


Potential Upsets
Netherlands vs England 
I've said it before, I don't rate England as a one-day unit. They have a few strong batsmen, but their bowling especially looks ragged and inexperienced. If Holland are to pull off a miracle, it would require Ryan ten Doeschate to do it almost by himself.

But it's happened before. © Getty Images

Kenya vs New Zealand
Don't laugh. The Black Caps are in such a horrible state right now that, that you just never know. Kenya showed against the West Indies that they are ready to give slackers a real scare. New Zealand have to be very careful that they don't walk into this with the 'easy win' cap on. For them, nothing is easy.