India vs New Zealand - Was it Fair?

And so, our humble Kiwi's failed to take off in India, hopes ruined completely by the two Ravis - Ashwin and Jadeja.  The Black Caps found themselves playing on moon surfaces, with the odd exception of a very New Zealand style pitch engineered to turn the underrated Bhuvi Kumar into a swinging menace. 

3-0 later it all begs the question, is it honestly fair that India is allowed to doctor their wickets to suit them?

The answer is, yes, why the hell not.

There is nothing wrong with home advantage, in fact it enhances the game. Winning overseas should be a big deal, the opposition should be walking into a cauldron of alien conditions and jeering home crowds. Victory on foreign soil should be special.

"Definitely a hint of turn out there today".  © edu-observatory.org

This is what made India's drawn 2003 series in Australia so fascinating, then later Australia's 2004 victory in India described as if conquering "the final frontier", near impossible tasks made any shot at victory so compelling. 

India has to exorcise their seaming wicket demons, a subject previously clueless about (poor Tendulkar aside). Anil Kumble had to mine all day tirelessly to extract wickets, Jason Gillespie had to turn in an inspired fast bowling performance on pitches catered for spin. 

Yes we have padded home averages, suddenly Ashwin is a better bowler than Warne and Murali combined we're told. Kohli and Pujara, so hopeless in England, are racking up tons and double tons. Sir Jadeja is the worlds deadliest all-rounder, "The Complete Player" the post-match coverage proudly blares.  

Uh huh.  © Cricinfo.com 

Take these guys to face Jimmy Anderson in his backyard, and things get pretty ugly, but as before, why not? Averages level out, and that is the cost of building a home town team as India were in the 90s.  If you don't adapt, you perish, and fair enough. 

Then how did India climb to number one on the rankings? While a brilliant South African side sits on 5th? Does #1 in the ICC rankings truly mean number one?  Not if the cards aren't dealt fairly all over the world, and therein lies the issue, only India get to play doctor it seems. 

Remember what happened when they toured New Zealand in 2001-02? A spectacular series where tests couldn't reach three days, and ODI innings couldn't hit 50 overs.  Sourav Ganguly and his men let their opinions rip, and next time they came to town around we duly delivered them roads.

What was wrong with New Zealand favouring their own strengths? It was a fascinating series where we appreciated quality swing bowling, and the rare dogged batting that countered it. Shane Bond was near unplayable. Zaheer Khan, Ashish Nehra and Javagal Srinath finally had bowling conditions to work with. Rahul Dravid described his 76 in Wellington as one of the best innings of his career. 76, not 276. An inspired Virender Sehwag didn't seem to care at all and clubbed centuries in a series where sometimes 20 was gold.

It was certainly weird cricket, it was nothing like the 'norm' that popular opinion later dictated. But that didn't make it any less fascinating. Had India won that series, they would rightfully have stood tall, just as New Zealand would have if they managed to win this series. There was nothing wrong with a thumping then, and there is nothing wrong with it now.

Instead, we stand in a situation where New Zealand's green seamers are long gone, nobody is scared of touring the West Indies, even Perth has become a flat joke. Other than (perhaps) English conditions, it's become about who can stand and slog the longest. 

It's wasteful to throw away an intriguing element of the game, variety should be embraced not wrested away because one cricketing board says so. A tragic shame, and an unnecessary dilution to our game.

A couple of final musings:

• What happened to excessive appealing, does the law even exist anymore? The last guy who tried to do anything about it was Mike Denness way back in 2001, and got his officiating career destroyed for his troubles.
• How does Sir Jadeja get away with *deliberately* tampering the pitch with a fine equal to 2 minutes of endorsement work? Oh, they handed NZ five runs, I guess...
• In those few occasions New Zealand were fighting along admirably, what do you call the laughable accusation of the 'deliberate drinks breaks' tactics?

Those dastardly cheats.

Throw away the spirit of the game when things go against the script? 

Onwards to more maulings then, Bangledesh next, in a series promised to be fascinatingly ugly.

The 2013 Cricket Wish List

I'm not sure who this letter is addressed to, the ICC? The Cricketing Gods? Santa?

Whoever it may be, I have been a good cricket fanatic last year and I feel I am entitled to see the metaphorical stockings hanging over my fireplace filled with cricketing goodies. So here goes then, my wish list:

1. New Zealand Survive 5 Days
An administrators nightmare, the recent South Africa series had whole days featuring an empty stadium. Wouldn't it be nice to see my home country not embarrass ourselves and actually survive the new ball, build a real innings and not concede 500 all the time? South Africa didn't even bother sledging as Vernon Philander aptly put it, "I don't think you have to say much if they are 45 all out".

Ouch. © AFP

What will probably happen: 
I may get my wish but only because the Black Caps made friends with some rain clouds.

2. The DRS Finally Stays
I wish that the ICC grow up and start doing their actual job. This involves a kick up BCCI's backside and using our god given technological powers for the good of our beloved sport. If Dhoni was correctly given out yesterday's match would have had a whole new complexion. The days of dodgy umpiring dictating a match are over, or at least should be.

What will probably happen: 
Nothing.

3. The Champions Trophy is a Hit
I am in a minority but I actually like the 50 over tournament which works nicely as a quick-smart world cup event, bringing all the world teams together a bit more regularly than four years. Its only 15 games and it takes less than a month, if we can fit the IPL we can fit this.

What will probably happen: 
I will be writing an obituary for the Champions Trophy in June.

4. The IPL Flops
Which brings me to this. The IPL has run its course now as the guilty pleasure form of cricket and needs to take a firm back seat, especially after the way its mutilated Indian cricket. With the downfall of that dreaded team should come the downfall (or at least watering down) of this too-frequent annual event which dead halts all meaningful cricket for a month.

What will probably happen: 
Money talks unfortunately, business shall continue.

5. The West Indies Deliver
Its about time we saw a strong West Indies and finally they have eleven men who can actually do it. They have a willing leader, Chris Gayle, adequate support for Chris Gayle, real all-rounders, a quality spinner and some decent (but not great) quicks. We haven't seen this in about fifteen years and their time has finally come. First stop, Australia.

What will probably happen: 
Gayle gets injured, Samuels gets banned at the wrong time and therefore they lose the matches that matter.

6. Somebody Drops Gambhir
I should get this wish pretty shortly. Has anyone had a more blessed run after nearly two years of nothing in every form of the game? Well, he has contributed his big mouth with his "we'll see you at home" tirade after getting towelled in Australia. Fat lot of good that did son.

What will probably happen: 
Your guess is as good as mine with Indian selectors. He'll make a century soon (in India of course and after offering two dropped catches) and the feeble minded administrators will jump for joy at what a fine player he is. He'll secure his selection for another six months and then run himself out on 101.

Bring it on 2013!

The Sehwag Formula

A typical cricketer regardless of nation will grow and mature in their skills and abilities. Tendulkar put away his broken cover drive in 2003 and mastered the grind, Daniel Vettori forged a batting technique from oblivion, even Ganguly reinvented himself. One guy on the other hand bats exactly the same way since day one, and he doesn't care.

Too cool to care.  © Getty

The Sehwag technique that comprises of cement based shoes and swinging madly regardless of pace, bounce or swing. While it works and its forged a decent career, one wonders if this cuts the mustard now that the old reflexes are going. Not a single decent innings on this Australia tour, it does make one wonder what the future bodes.

So here it is, forecast for Sehwag 2012:

Jan: Uppercuts 2nd ball straight to 3rd man.
Feb: Bowled 4th ball.
Mar: Uppercuts 4th ball straight to 3rd man.
Apr: Uppercuts 2nd ball straight to 3rd man.
May: Out with shoulder injury caused by uppercutting one too many times.
Jun: Back from injury and fresh. Uppercuts first ball straight to 3rd man.
Jul: Bowled 2nd ball.
Aug: Change of tactics by Captain Fool. Demoted down the order, Bowled 4th ball.
Sep: Shoulder injury returns. But, now also has groin injury due to loosing middle stump one too many times.
Oct: Not fully fit, but opens innings with Gauti. Bowled 1st ball. Captain Fool blames it on injury. (Gauti out edged to 2nd slip 3rd ball)
Nov: Sehwag attends press conference and says no plans for retirement for next 10 years. Also says he will not change the way he plays one bit no matter what, citing his recent double hundred.
Dec: Sehwag again attends press conference and promises next year will be balle balle, because his mom has increased his milk intake. Desi-janta is very pleased to hear Sehwag's promise and his robust health. Everybody glued to TV sets in anticipation.

for i=2013:1:2023

if i= 2016 or 2019

   Play only Kenya, Ireland, Zimbabwe, Afghanisthan and home matches. Have the BCCI rig this.

else

   Repeat 2012 in random order.

end






Special thanks to Hemanth Porumamilla 

How To Save Indian Cricket In 5 Easy Steps

Here we are again. After being taken to the cleaners by England, India quickly hosted a home ODI series, duly thrashed them, and life went on.

Lessons learned, none.  © AFP

But in the wise words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, "you only postponed it, judgement day is inevitable". Now we have a team that is at full strength and performing even worse despite more favourable conditions and a weaker opponent. We have a team that is making Warner & Cowan look like the next Hayden & Langer, and nobodies like Hilfenhaus bowling as if they are Jason Gillespie.

One can ramble on and dissect the new level of horrors that have been transcended, but its time for a change in tone. Its time to look at how Indian cricket can be fixed, and its not all that complicated either.

1. Restrain The IPL Horse
Dear BCCI, if you want your cash cow then so be it, you started a trend that everyone follows, however everyone else knows how to let loose in small doses. A two month annual event is simply not on. The crowds are bored, the purists are cringing and the batting techniques are flopping like a dying fish. You had your fun but now realise that the development of skill is more important than the development of the wallet size, nobody will pay to go and watch street kids swing a stick and that's the way its heading.

2. Retire The Oldies
Dear selectors, when you know that half the team is ready for the old folks home, have a plan. Instead we are being treated to the shame of watching great batsmen lose their natural reflexes, embarrassing themselves against opposition they would have swished away like a fly five years ago. They are not invincible nor immortal, and if you take those three out of the team without a backup blueprint, we have a hole to replace a hole covered with sticks.

3. Develop Real Batsmen
Yes you again selectors, why not grow test match quality talent instead of selecting IPL talent and hoping for the best? The funny thing is, the domestic circuit already has players of the correct calibrations, Cheteshwar Pujara, Dinesh Karthik, Badrinath, Jaffer, Kaif just to name a few. But all of these players fell victim to the show pony bias, the insuppressible urge to hire a cowboy instead of a workhorse. Give these guys guaranteed selection for a while and let their techniques develop naturally, you can't expect players to emerge like magic.

4. Get A Real Captain
Mr Dhoni, quite a history you have developed on this blog. Maybe its time to realise for yourself that you have neither the batting technique, the tactical nous nor the hunger for test cricket captaincy. You barely qualify for selection on batting and keeping grounds. The gentlemen's move would be to step down from Test cricket now instead of 2013, rather than boldly assuming he wouldn't be dropped before then. Nasser Hussain knew when to quit with dignity.

5. Leave The Go-Karts At Home
Dear team building co-ordinator (you again Dhoni?), if a team is struggling to hit a ball, for goodness sake don't take them go-karting! Taking their minds off cricket you say? Their minds couldn't have been more off cricket to begin with. Yes we know that your home based matches are a barrel of laughs but an overseas tour to a country where you never win is pretty serious stuff. Here's an idea, maybe a few hours of hard net practice? Fielding practice? Even meditation would do.

Just working on my 'drive' .  © Flagstaffotos

All of this is easier said than done. It requires vision, maturity and sacrifice, three qualities that the governing body of Indian cricket distinctly lack. There will be a fall back, and it will take perhaps years to rebuild a team worthy of Test cricket, but it is a necessary move given that things could not get any worse right now. Without a change, its like the great Arnie says.


"You are terminated".



Remember to follow The Cricket Musings on Facebook!

2012 - The End of the World (For Indian Cricket)

The recent years could be described as the zenith of Indian cricket. A world cup, the number one test ranking, an assortment of batsman averaging above fifty. For a while all was rosy for Indian cricket as they had all the money and the silverware. The problem is though, the higher you climb the tree the more gravity laughs at you, and awaiting this Indian team in the coming year is a crash course face down in the mud.

As we speak Australia are mauling India in a manner reserved not even for Zimbabwe. The so-called best batting line-up hasn't delivered, and we all know India has nothing else up its sleeve apart from the odd Zaheer Khan spell. The fielding is a joke, the bowling a gun loaded with blanks, Gambhir and Kohli (the 'future') are nowhere as good as they think they are, and special mention to the unimaginative and dire captaincy of the most worshipped man in Indian cricket. He may be a lot of things, but as a test captain Dhoni is a disgrace.

Unfortunately for India, the problems do not end here and it won't be long before we are back in the dark days of the 90's. Yes the days when Devang Gandhi was in the team and Agarkar was the king of ducks.

Quack.  © AFP

The powers are about to shift away, and the coming year will be a telling one for Indian cricket. Here are the events The Cricket Musings predicts for 2012:

The IPL Will Start Dying
This won't be the last we see of it, but it will be on its way down. The corruption is already exposing itself with teams having to drop out and players reportedly not being paid. The already poor quality of cricket will only get worse, especially when key players will retire and or opt out altogether. Audiences will wake up worldwide, and realise that Test cricket is the only true form, and that India are hopeless at it.

The previous IPL had a lot to thank Chris Gayle for.

Tendulkar Will Get His 100th 100
But by the time it comes nobody will care any more. Except maybe cricinfo who probably have tribute articles saved up and gathering cob-webs.

Dravid and Laxman Will Retire
A sad ending, because its tragic to watch Dravid miss straight deliveries and Laxman scoring less runs than Chris Martin. What the BCCI will do is rig a home series against a Zimbabwe and give them easy centuries to bow out with. I hope so because they deserve a farewell more pleasant than James Pattinson screams.

The DRS Will Live
Eventually the ICC will wake up when the credibility of the BCCI and Dhoni will decline. Common sense will prevail in the end, even though it was years too late.

More 200's
Sehwag and Sachin only completed the inevitable. For years many got mighty close, and others would have sailed to a double had the chasing target been larger (see Shane Watson). With flat pitches still not easing up, there will be more of these on the way.

A Return Australian Series
To restore dented batting averages and the pride of Virat Kohli. They did it against England, and with India having planned next to nothing in terms of forthcoming tours, they are (as usual) free to do what they like.


A plea to the cricket gods, please save us all.



Related Reading:
Australian Cricket In Trouble
Why Dhoni Is A Fluke
Why The IPL Is Ruining Cricket

South Africa vs Australia Series Review - We Have Been Robbed

World cricket is at war.

In one corner, we have the front bench crowd with small attention spans and an insatiable lust for sixes and cheap thrills. They are backed up with cash hungry administrators and sponsors looking to turn the game into  a business. And on the other there is the rest of us, those who crave for one simple thing, real cricket.

And by george we got some real cricket.

This series was ample proof of what the beautiful game has to offer in its purest form. It does not require gimmicks, cheerleaders and atrocious piggy backs such as the 'Free Hit'. The true recipe is two quality sides, zero corruption and a neutral pitch. We live in the insulting batting age where the flat decks of Mohali are termed as 'good pitches'. This series showed us exactly what a cricket pitch needs to be, reward for skill.

For what it was, the stalemate was the most interesting cricket we have seen in recent times. Neither team, already bitter rivals with a short but incredible history, managed to take the ascendancy. Both teams continued to be the victims of their own insecurities, unwilling to put the opposition to bed once and for all. And we the spectators benefited the most, watching two teams crash back and forth is a mighty load of fun.

Crashing taken literally sometimes © AFP

If you scroll back over the last six months or so, there has been plenty of forgettable cricket. It is no coincidence either that most of this was the limited overs format, does anyone even bother to care who wins these Twenty20 matches? The biggest shambles of them all was the Champions Trophy T20 tournament, which serves more like the idiot cousin of the football equivalent. An ego trip, at best. If we ripped that poor show out of the cricketing calendar, we could have had a third test match.

A third deciding test match, just imagine the tantalizing possibilities.

The solutions unfortunately rely on the likes of the ICC and the BCCI to wake up to these facts. It will rely on a complete implosion of the IPL as well as a large enough outcry from the fans and players alike to rally against poor cricket and support the cream of it. Martin Guptill recently gave up his IPL contract to take on commitments in the longer formats in first class English cricket. There is a shining example.

Much like like a movie trailer, we saw a quick preview of an enthralling spectacle. We have all been left with empty feelings while the players are left scratching the heads, caught in an unsatisfied limbo. There will be no full length motion picture to follow, it shall remain 1:1 and cricketers and spectators alike shall forever remain robbed.

The Dhoni Rollercoaster

Mahendra Singh Dhoni. The biggest name in Indian cricket bar Sachin Tendulkar. His rise to the top is nothing short of extraordinary, scaling heights in a manner that would make any rock climber blush. Literally he went from zero to the top in five years, and on the way acquiring magic powers that no other cricketer can boast:

• Choosing when to play (in order of revenue).
• Choosing where to bat (#3 if the score is 200-1, #7 otherwise for a guaranteed not-out).
• Halting a review system that the entire cricketing world embraced.
• Turning a god awful slap into a famous "helicopter shot".
• Starting a hairstyle trend.
• Being immune to criticism and the axe.
• Being the only captain allowed to keep the same IPL team (hence winning).
• Getting umpires fired at will.

There is no denying one thing, Dhoni is a very shrewd character. With well thought out batting promotions, deadpan media interviews and a controversy free life outside cricket, he managed to climb his way to the very top of everybody's praise list. Proudly he stands at the top of Everest while other more worthy cricketers tried and failed at hill tops.

Lets take a ride of the Dhoni Rollercoaster and experience the meteoric rise (and fall).

BANG!

Dhoni announces himself as a young buck with a mullet and a ferocious bat swing, clubbing a fun filled 148 off 123 deliveries, and that too against Pakistan. The very definition of raw batting, and being a wicket-keeper, that's Parthiv Patel and Dinesh Karthik in the dustbin. 

The realist says: Hah check this guy out! If he really can keep wickets, then he'll have a bright career as our own Mark Boucher. Good signs.

BANG!

That same year Dhoni makes mince of Vaas, Murali and friends with a bulldozing 183 off 145 deliveries, including an astonishing ten sixes. Tendulkar made 3 that day, his presence barely registering as Dhoni  scooped up the man of the series award and a contract with the BCCI. He's here to stay.

The realist says: Hmm that was a double century beckoning, thwarted only by lack of runs for the chase. Maybe we have a serious limited overs weapon here, albeit an India-only one.

Dhoni #1 in ODIs! 

After bashing around the Pakistani's yet again, this time in lower order match winners, Dhoni marched onto the #1 ranking in one-day internationals. There is no looking back now for the wonder boy from Jharkhand.

The realist says: What the heck, how did that happen? Boy do these ICC rankings change quickly, suddenly he is a better batsman than Ponting! Lets just mention that out of his first 43 games, a convenient 5 were outside of the sub-continent batting friendly pitches. A few more overseas tours and things will level out.

Captain Dhoni to the Rescue!

The young guns of India rally and defeat the very best of the twenty 20 world and take away their first world cup since the famous 1983 victory. Dhoni was the man in charge, and with the help of Yuvraj Singh's bat, RP Singh's swing and a ridiculously dumb Misbah-ul-Haq shot, a young India won in grand style. Dhoni was hailed a hero, and finally we have a captain!

The realist says: Whoa now hang on a minute, Dhoni contributed little to nothing with the bat, and took HUGE gambles which through sheer luck paid off (Joginder Sharma is rubbish). By a combination of injuries and selection woes, in other words, purely by process of elimination, he got the job. You can't be serious about him taking over as captain? This is T20 cricket!

Dhoni Defeats The Mighty Aussies!

For the first time, ever, India take home the CB series in Australia led by the inspirational Dhoni. He promoted himself on various occasions and chipped in with sensible singles, putting to bed the Dhoni of old who would try and blast the bowling into oblivion. Great maturity and class to help bring down the mighty cricketing empire, in their own back yard.

The realist says: Granted that Dhoni helped out here and there, it was Gambhir and Sachin who really played the crucial hands. This was an impressive landmark victory, but it had a lot to do with the ageing Australia contributing to their own downfall with a tired performance. Dhoni's timing to become captain was truly immaculate, luck!

Dhoni ICC ODI Player of the Year - For Two Years!

There is no better limited overs cricketer than Dhoni in 2008 and 2009, mastering the art of switching between dynamic aggression and controlled finishing, he has become the new Michael Bevan of cricket. Add to that a great test record including four centuries, truly our best wicket-keeper batsman in history!

The realist says: Here's a fun fact, only around 30% of his ODI's are played outside of the subcontinent, and less than half the test matches. Here's another one, Dhoni has never scored a century outside Asia, in any format, ever. Definitely a decent player but bit of a stretch to call him number one in the world.

Dhoni leads India to #1 Test Ranking!

For the first time ever India has a formidable test team. Actually managing to win a few overseas tests, they secured some important results in England, New Zealand and South Africa, and of course beating the Australians *once again* at home. Dhoni is the perfect captain with an unbeaten test record, and life is good.

The realist says: Lets not forget that the Australians are falling apart like a house made of hay. Admittedly the Indians are playing good test cricket and deserve their ranking, but the real heroes are the Laxman's and Dravid's who time and again have saved them from the dead. At one time there were four ex-captains in the team with Dhoni, who really is just a happy passenger.

Dhoni wins the World Cup!

Finally, undisputed champions of the ODI world! Dhoni's place in the hall of fame is all but guaranteed as he lifted the World Cup for the second time in India's history. The road to the final included beating defending champions Australia and the red hot Pakistani and Sri Lankan teams. There is no question that in the reins of Dhoni, life is a million bucks (literally). Bring on England!

The realist says: Apart from the final where he stole Yuvraj Singh's job (another shrewd self promotion folks), his other major contributions to the cup was complaining about the DRS system and being the first guy to the podium. For goodness sake can we stop attributing *everything* to him!

CRASH

Dhoni leads an unfit and unprepared bunch to the English shores, chock full of opposition players brimming with skill and confidence, and a hunger to be number one. What followed as a 4-0 drubbing so ridiculous, so embarrassing that not one excuse washed with anybody, even the Indian media. There is a gentle hush around Indian cricket, suddenly Ravi Shastri has nothing to say and everyone sits back in suspended disbelief. All that build up for this massive anticlimax?

The realist says: Feeling the pinch of gravity are we?

What lies ahead?

After that fierce ride up, Indian cricket is zooming back down at breakneck speeds, Dhoni in the front seat. Will it rush back up and meeting more twists and corkscrews? Or will the rollercoaster continue to run its course and come to a crashing halt?

Dhoni is by no means a poor cricketer, he is at best a decent keeper with good temperament and the ability to play a useful innings in helpful batting conditions. Yet instead, he has propelled himself to all sorts of heights and achievements.

Luck my friends, and a lot of it. The true test of his rollercoaster ride is about to begin.


All stats courtesy of Cricinfo.com
All images courtesy of Getty Images and AFP

Dear Ravi Shastri, Please Shut Up

With the Indian team crumbling into a miserable heap at the hands of the English seamers, perhaps the time was ripe for an off-field battle between some of the big heads from either camp. But before we get to that, lets make a few things clear about the status quo:

1. India have no excuses. Losing Zaheer Khan is probably the only piece of bad luck they may rue. Apart from that this is (more or less) a full strength Indian line-up.
2. India are not number one. And in fact they never were, they only ended up there as a temporary place holder in the lack of a true champion team.
3. England could be the real deal. The England's of the past would flatter to deceive, winning an important series before falling flat in those that follow. Not this one it seems, and once they get their ODI game in order, who knows... the next Australia?

But now to the point of the article. 

The Bombing of Pearl Harbor

Nasser Hussain, renowned for having a rather big mouth, made it clear what he thought when Harbhajan was unfairly given out lbw with a big inside edge. His two cents worth included “using incomplete DRS is disgraceful by BCCI”, as he correctly said that Harbhajan could have been there if complete DRS was allowed, and that hotspot is in fact less accurate than the ball tracking system, and yet India have opted for that. 

Granted the choice of words are not politically correct, Hussain is more or less right. But this is a very unflattering stick thrust smartly into the BCCI bee hive. How dare he criticize the big shots of India! 

The Atomic Bomb

The rebuttal, came from Mr Ravi Shastri. He struck back with this:

"They are jealous about the way the Indian Premier League is going. They are jealous about where India is in world cricket.

"They are jealous about the fact that India are world champions. They are jealous because of the money being made by the Indian cricket board.

"The bottom line is that they have never been bloody No 1 in the world in Test cricket.

"So don't criticise unless you have been there and know."

Do you Mr Shastri really think that India is *that* good? That they can flat out accuse someone of being jealous of their cricketing abilities, their money and even more laughably, the IPL? Take a good look at how this series is going sir, and learn some humility and respect. It is 2-0 and looking like 3-0 at the moment. Your commentary sounded like you were at a funeral as it was so depressing to see your beloved team being so soundly trounced. Tim Bresnan, the England number 9, is straight driving your best bowlers like they are club level rookies.

Your "bloody no 1 in the world" are playing like the no 1 joke. Beating a few teams on flat decks by out-batting them does NOT make a world number one team, and you will find out in due course don't you worry about that. Here's a fact, if it weren't for the soon-to-retire VVS Laxman and Rahul Dravid, India would be third at best. They would have lost to the West Indies. 

I used to think you were one of the few grounded and well informed Indian commentators, how wrong I was. You are just as delusional and arrogant as the rest of the muppets you are surrounded by. Funnily enough, as arrogant as they were, did you see the Australian commentators openly brag about how good they are? No. They only beat teams to a pulp and let the scoreboard talk.

Ravi Shastri, grow up and shut up.

The BCCI vs The DRS - The Height of Arrogance

Its not old news that our friends at the BCCI continue to utterly refuse the DRS system, their secretary saying as much once more yesterday. The previous reaction from most of the world including myself would be to shake our heads in annoyance, probably mutter a few profanities under our breath (quietly), and get on with life. Today it is different however, today I am compelled to dig deeper, perhaps get an understanding of the psyche behind all this, is there a motive underneath it all?

If this picture was the DRS run on the BCCI decision,
they would call this one not out despite the evidence, just because they can.

Let us try to formulate reasons as to why this ridiculous situation is with us:

Because Sachin And MS Say So
The two most powerful figures in Indian cricket, possibly all cricket, possibly all of India, claim that the technology is not 100% accurate. Perhaps the BCCI is no more than just a spineless extension of their voices? In that case, who are Tendulkar and Dhoni to make a critique on the DRS technology? Its like a McDonald's cashier having the power to stop them selling coke because he doesn't agree with the level of fizz. There is usually a players association present, a body that is supposed to be representative of the players, I haven't heard a squeak from them, if there even is one.

Because The Secretary Says So
Our friend the BCCI secretary, N. Srinivasan, claims boldly that they are a "structured organization" who "make their own decisions". Lets back track a second, who on earth is N. Srinivasan to be the judge on this? Does he even have a cricketing background? He is an industrialist from Chennai, who is he to be the face of the BCCI? As far as I am concerned he is no more qualified to make these statements than Queen Latifah. If there really was a structured organization, the players association would answer to him, and he would answer to the ICC. In a land where money talks, this is what happens.

Common sense was not in the job description.

Because The ICC Don't Say A Word
Srinivasan is the secretary for the Indian cricket board, not world cricket. He should have absolutely no say in this matter, yet as always there is a deathly silence from the so called governing body of world cricket. There needs to be a China mentality here, the ICC should be in charge, period. The sad reality of it all is that the ICC is merely a curtain, a faded doormat for one nation's selfish cricket board. In a recent survey, 94% of players agree that ICC does not act in the best interests of cricket, and 69% agree that the BCCI has an unfair influence on the ICC. The people are not blind, only the people at the top are.


Because The DRS Is Not Accurate
The big argument is that they cannot guarantee 100% accuracy and therefore the system is invalid. This is an unbelievably idiotic statement. Imagine you were making a return on investment, "yes yes we know that you can give me a nine dollar return on average, but you can't guarantee me ten dollars! Therefore I will settle for fifty cents. And so will the rest of the world because I said so". Physics, mathematics and statistics, the very foundations of our scientific knowledge are based on assumptions. Why do unlike poles attract and like poles repel? They just do, the same way the BCCI repels intelligence.

And So What Happens From Here?
As usual. Nothing.

The IPL Horrors Lumber On

And so the craze, the indulgence, the ego trip drones on yet again. The IPL is a sharp plummet in cricket quality from the world cup event we just witnessed and enjoyed, this is more like a drunken after party before the real cricket begins again.

Lets set one thing straight. I like Twenty20 cricket. I believe it does have a place in the cricketing calendar, it is short, entertaining, and its all over quickly, sort of like a fun-size mars bar. It serves as a great live spectator sport, and for a while there everybody understood this, teams played along for a quick bit of fun before the real tour began.

Yep, not taking it seriously. © Getty

And then India won the Twenty20 World Cup. You see, India weren't even on board to start with. It took off in England and Pakistan, along with a handful of internationals. But after India took the honours in that admittedly fun little event, things went overboard. The love child that spawned became a cricketing monster, driven by the idea of milking the concept completely dry. The abomination known as the IPL was born, and here its legacy:

1. Overpaid Players
We all know that professional sports players are paid obscenely. Try Fernando Torres being bought for €58.5m, or (I love this one) Latrell Sprewell rejecting a $21m (USD) contract because he had "a family to feed". I guess he fathers a small island.

Cricket was once exempt from this madness, but the IPL changed all that. Gone are the day where you earn an honest pay packet and put pride above all else. Now we are talking $2.4m (US) for a couple of months of trigger happy madness. It seems like small change compared to other sporting codes, but look at our international cricketers flock to the gold. It will come to a stage were players will give up international commitments to turn out for the Nagpur Nobodys (the West Indies leading by example already).

2. Bollywood Meets Cricket
If I wanted to see Shah Rukh Khan and friends dancing, hamming, and drowning in their petty games, I know where to go, the nearest cinema. We let you have your bollywood movies, it's ok to be a fan, but please leave cricket alone.

Ugh. © AFP

3. Force Fed Advertising
Money money money, again. We have advertising thrown at us with such ferocity, between overs, between balls (!) and even during the live game by cutting the screen into an L-shape advertisement. The sponsorship banners and logos are sprawled everywhere on the ground, the boundries, and on the players kits. Everyone is out to make a quick buck, and it hurts my eyes.

4. Unfair Cricket
Ponder this. You are a young indian fast bowler looking to press for national selection, your strengths are good line and length with a hint of swing. Your assignment is Adam Gilchrist with a license to kill. Your constraints are shortened boundary ropes, a sea of spectators screaming for sixes and a pitch resembling dead wood. They might as well decapitate you too.

How are the domestic level Indian cricketers supposed to develop their trade? Bowlers get smashed everywhere, and only exceptions like Malinga have the tools to cope. Batting skills such as working the gaps, finding the singles, running between the wickets... all gone. Despite the world cup victory, Indian cricket is going through a massive shortage of good bowlers and test match level batsmen, and this is the very reason.

5. Dumb Commentary
These are real excerpts of cricinfo commentary:

• Rayuduuuuuu! Whaddaplayaaaaa!
• Clatterrrrrrrr! Don't mess with Malinga! 
• ... he walks down and tries to work it to leg but ends up with a thick outside-edge that flies over and over third man! Wow!
• ...oh he has literally smoked the pants off that one!
• snuff is snuff, says McCullum

There is a fine line between flair and idiocy. And this is just text commentary, the audio commentators take it to another level, wailing in their chorus of never ending praise of "outstanding batting" and "incredible shot". 


6. The 'Team' Culture

There was a bit of team culture being developed over the seasons with familiar faces partnering each other, however this was all down the toilet with the ridiculous idea of putting all the players back in the lolly scramble. Name three players in the Bangalore Royal Challengers? 

"Of course, thats Dravid's team, along with Kallis, Uthappa... "

"Uh actually, Dravid is in the Royals, Kallis in Kolkata, Uthappa Pune."

"Pune? A new team?"

"Two new teams, them and the Kochi Tuskers."

"Tuskers!? From a land with a bad reputation of elephant poaching! But hey at least we see Kallis and Gayle together, exciting!"

"Actually... Gayle is in Bangalore now".

"..."

The Final Word
Given a bit of restraint (something not possible with Indian cricket), the IPL could have worked as a two week glamor event. Some of the games in this latest edition were actually a bit of fun, but two months of this? Those naysayers who complain about the world cup length are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites. The only cricket serving we have is this biffathon and the West Indies A vs Pakistan series (yawn). 


Somebody save us.

World Cup 2011 - The Blue Era Begins

And so after three consecutive world cups, and over ten years of uncontested dominance, we have a new team crowned winners. I have made it no secret that I am no fan of this Indian team, but its time for a quiet admission on my part through clenched teeth. India deserve to be crowned champions. 

It also invited bad puns. © Associated Press

India had their usual misfields, but Sri Lanka had more. India had poor backup bowlers, but Sri Lanka's were worse. The first innings was a scramble around the brilliant Jayawardene. The run chase, barring the first few overs, was precise, restrained and quality batting. One can harp on about dropped catches, injuries and leaving Mendis out (some even dare to say that Sangakkara cheated at the toss), but it came down to a very simple fact, the better team won.


Are They The Best In The World?
Yes, despite their flaws. While they were sloppy throughout, you cannot argue with results, their only loss was narrowly to South Africa. The ease in which they got over the final, with who was without doubt the number two team really highlights this. As much as I hunted for excuses for the Sri Lankan's losing, there were none.

It of course helped that this all took place on dead home pitches, and they probably will struggle more outside of the subcontinent. But that is no reason to begrudge them, every series or world cup is held at some venue, and a home side will have an advantage. Its part of the game.


Are They Better Than The Australian Empire?
Absolutely not. Not even close actually. The Australians were magnificent, they would field eleven top class players with no apparent weakness in any department. Think six Tendulkars, three Zaheers, a Sangakkara and a Murali, who all field like Raina and Dilshan. Scary wasn't it. They could have fielded a second eleven and beat most world teams, such was their depth.

India and Sri Lanka emerged on top because the Aussie fortress collapsed (well, retired), not the other way around. I honestly believe that the Indian team of 2003 is equal, if not stronger than this one, and we all saw what happened to them.

Ouch. © Neil Lane

There is a long way to go before any team is as good as these guys were.

Why We Thank India's Victory
They bring in the numbers, of that there is no doubt. They were excellent hosts of this tournament, and the event was a big success. With the Indians backing it up, at least we can be rest assured that the fifty over game is in safe hands. They didn't "IPL" the game thankfully and left it in its own, mostly original and glorious form.

India is also one to embrace other teams I feel. Out of sheer numbers, smaller teams such as Ireland will get their supporters, particularly with a few of them featuring in the IPL already, along their first Dutch player to join them this year. All cricket lovers cannot deny that a strong Indian fan base and their passion is great for the sport.

Why We Regret India's Victory
The overindulgence has already begun. The amount of money that gets poured into the game is truly astounding, with each player receiving a 1 crore bonus ($200,000 USD roughly). It doesn't sound like much, but 1 crore in India is more than what the average man will ever see in his lifetime. Worse still given that half the team were average, if not poor throughout the tournament. They simply do not know when to stop, especially with money. The BCCI are already powerful, with having more control over cricket than the ICC itself, this victory means more power.

Too much power is never good.

The hero worship is almost laughingly bad, with patriotic film songs booming throughout the game as if India was welcoming a victorious army on independence day. All that was left really was Aamir Khan to jump out onto the pitch and win the match Lagaan style with "Mere Desh Ki Dharti" running in the background (to the non-Indian readers, something like Queen's "We Are The Champions").

And you need to be in, or have been to India to see just how far the endorsements go, with cricket players all over clothing labels, Pepsi ads, hair gel, even this monstrosity from Nike:

Get used to it folks, cricket will indeed bleed blue for the coming years.