Australia vs India - The Tour Diary

Never, in the last three decades has there been an Indian tour to Australia any worse than this. In the past there was usually at least one redeeming innings or spell that made the tour at least partially worthwhile. Having won the World Cup, the Indian team simply devolved into its state in the late nineties before they learnt how to play. Fat, unfit, lazy and above all, absolutely delusional. What was going through the minds of these players?


Sehwag: Forget England, we've got this.

1st Test: Australia v India at Melbourne - Dec 26-29, 2011
Australia won by 122 runs

Dhoni: Never mind, we are poor starters anyway.

Sachin: I can just feel that century coming...

  ©Getty

2nd Test: Australia v India at Sydney - Jan 3-6, 2012
Australia won by an innings and 68 runs

Zak: Right there's my three wickets, over to you boys!
*crickets chirping*


622 runs and one wicket later

Dhoni: Hey I just realised I can sleep while standing up.
Kohli: How dare the !@#$% Australian crowds sledge me! *Inappropriate hand gesture*.
Graeme Smith: You think you've seen Aussie sledging...

Dhoni: Whoa innings defeat...
Dhoni: Lets go karting! That means you too Rahul, put that bat down.
Dravid: But there's a hole in it.

Sachin: Yep that century is coming...

  ©Getty

 3rd Test: Australia v India at Perth - Jan 13-15, 2012
Australia won by an innings and 37 runs

Warner: Oh yeah! All hail the next Matthew Hayden.
Sehwag: Thats funny, I thought Twenty 20 cricket was supposed to help us.
Warner: What's your batting average Virat, haha lol.
Ishant: Dude you've played like two matches.
Kohli: Come to India Warner, lets compare our !@#$% batting averages there you !@#$%.
Warner: Three words, Chennai Super Kings.
Dhoni: Ah yes good times.

Gambhir: Right thats it, I want to see *rank turners* in India. Beat that.
Indian Curators: What exactly do you think we've been preparing for the last fifty years...
The Cricket Musings: Actual spinners might help too.

Dhoni: Somebody just ban me already.

Sachin: Yep... any minute now...
  

  ©Getty

4th Test: Australia v India at Adelaide - Jan 24-28, 2012
Australia won by 298 runs  

Sehwag: Right as stand-in captain I call for more optimism and positive energy!

One 386 run partnership later


Sehwag: I need a better mentor.
Ishant: I declare myself the next Mohammad Sami.
Dravid: Did I just get bowled again!?

Sehwag: Guys guys relax... we beat them 2-0 in India remember! We've got this.
The Cricket Musings: That was only because Laxman saved you.
Sehwag: ... who?

Gambhir: ...
Dravid: ...
Sachin: ...
Laxman: ...
Kohli: !@#$% (quietly)
Dhoni: ...
Saha: Hey I tried.
Ashwin: ...
Ishant: ...
Zak: ...
Yadav: ...

...  ©Getty

Sehwag: Nothing needs to change!!
The Cricket Musings: And nothing will dear boy. Nothing will.



Relive more agony:
How to Save Indian Cricket
The Horrible India vs West Indies Test Match

South Africa vs Australia Series Review - We Have Been Robbed

World cricket is at war.

In one corner, we have the front bench crowd with small attention spans and an insatiable lust for sixes and cheap thrills. They are backed up with cash hungry administrators and sponsors looking to turn the game into  a business. And on the other there is the rest of us, those who crave for one simple thing, real cricket.

And by george we got some real cricket.

This series was ample proof of what the beautiful game has to offer in its purest form. It does not require gimmicks, cheerleaders and atrocious piggy backs such as the 'Free Hit'. The true recipe is two quality sides, zero corruption and a neutral pitch. We live in the insulting batting age where the flat decks of Mohali are termed as 'good pitches'. This series showed us exactly what a cricket pitch needs to be, reward for skill.

For what it was, the stalemate was the most interesting cricket we have seen in recent times. Neither team, already bitter rivals with a short but incredible history, managed to take the ascendancy. Both teams continued to be the victims of their own insecurities, unwilling to put the opposition to bed once and for all. And we the spectators benefited the most, watching two teams crash back and forth is a mighty load of fun.

Crashing taken literally sometimes © AFP

If you scroll back over the last six months or so, there has been plenty of forgettable cricket. It is no coincidence either that most of this was the limited overs format, does anyone even bother to care who wins these Twenty20 matches? The biggest shambles of them all was the Champions Trophy T20 tournament, which serves more like the idiot cousin of the football equivalent. An ego trip, at best. If we ripped that poor show out of the cricketing calendar, we could have had a third test match.

A third deciding test match, just imagine the tantalizing possibilities.

The solutions unfortunately rely on the likes of the ICC and the BCCI to wake up to these facts. It will rely on a complete implosion of the IPL as well as a large enough outcry from the fans and players alike to rally against poor cricket and support the cream of it. Martin Guptill recently gave up his IPL contract to take on commitments in the longer formats in first class English cricket. There is a shining example.

Much like like a movie trailer, we saw a quick preview of an enthralling spectacle. We have all been left with empty feelings while the players are left scratching the heads, caught in an unsatisfied limbo. There will be no full length motion picture to follow, it shall remain 1:1 and cricketers and spectators alike shall forever remain robbed.

England vs India - Series Review

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

No words necessary. © Getty Images

The Cricket Musings can be pretty pessimistic, but I don't think anybody on earth saw this coming. What transpired over the last month was a performance so pitiful and even the West Indies and Bangladesh would go home crying in shame. Make no mistake, it was nothing short of an atrocious performance with no excuses. One would even feel sorry for the Indians, if not for their overly smug and brash attitude (jealous are we?).

The Numbers Don't Lie:

• India were bowled out every single innings, that's 80 wickets lost. They made it to 300 once, their average score being 256.
• England only had to bat six times, and were only bowled out twice, and one of those was a total of 554. Their average score? A whopping 468 and that too with four declarations.
• Only Rahul Dravid managed more than 300 runs for India. He was nearly 200 runs shy of the next best in Tendulkar, and his series average 76.83 made him a man among toddlers.
• Only Praveen Kumar operated at a bowling average under 30, England had three.
• Of the ten centuries scored, three belonged to India, all Dravid. 
• The last time India was white-washed was 11 years ago in Australia. 

And don't forget those were the days when India would bat like rag dolls anywhere outside the batting paradises of the sub-continent. This Indian team came to the English shores boasting a #1 world ranking. They go home as #3.

Doing a report card on the players would be an utterly pointless exercise, as every Englishman deserves at least 8 and every Indian who is not named Rahul Dravid deserves at most 2.

So what the heck happened? 

Is it even possible to pinpoint how a team can suddenly be so abysmal? A team only putting up a show in one match only for Tim Bresnan to blow them away? Perhaps surprisingly, the answers were always there, the cracks were merely invisible under the shiny gloss of big talk, the world cup victory and the so called world number one ranking. 

The truth is:

1. India were always unfit. For many years a number of key players were constantly breaking down with injury. Previously slim players are suddenly lazy, paunchy and tired. Handling this for fifty overs was possible and made it look like there was no issue. When it becomes 450 overs, it becomes painfully clear.
2. India never could field. The number of dropped catches, misfields and lumbering chases for the ball has been nothing new. Only Suresh Raina had any sort of energy and ability.
3. India have 1.5 bowlers. And one of those was Zaheer Khan, who's injury sealed the fate of the 'attack'. Praveen Kumar is the 0.5, who deserves special mention for his tireless and lionhearted efforts out there. Bhajji was always dead wood. Ishant and Sreesanth only bowl one or two good spells a series. Mishra and RP Singh never had the experience or the tools to do anything meaningful. Without a McGrath or Steyn, we will always be behind.
4. India don't win much. Perhaps the harshest reality of all. "But, but we are number one!" you say? Look at the recent results, in the past five years, India have drawn a ridiculous 19 matches, nearly equalling their win record of 22 matches. These draws came about with their gun batting line-up flaying the bowling on dead pitches, and an inability to take 20 wickets. 
5. The batting machine had to fail finally. How often did Laxman or Dravid (or even Bhajji!) bail them out of embarrassing situations with the bat. With any number one team, there will always come a time where the bowling and fielding will be tested, and India were never up to standard there. A team built on batting alone can only go so far.

Time to cut down on the Pakodas son. © Getty Images

The Bottom Line

If you look at the facts, India only really made it to the top as a place-holder for the declining Australians. A heavy weight of drawn series and matches is definitely an improvement from the 90's, and they are rightfully third on the ladder. But its time to stop being delusional and pretending this team was good enough to hold down the top ranking for very long.

It is a harsh wake up call, but a necessary one. You cannot take test matches for granted, a champion team is built on eleven players forming a batting, bowling and fielding unit with the mental fortitude to outlast the opponent over five days.

England, in other words.

West Indies vs India - Series Review

An interesting series indeed! Rather than dawdle towards a predicted 5-0 whitewash, given how useless the West Indies are on paper, they showed some serious mettle and turned in a respectable 3-2 loss. India, sending in a B team, will be happy with the series win, but at what cost? Lets review the highlights.

Pace and Bounce!
Lo and behold not every pitch is a dead batting track! What a difference it makes when Roach and Russell are steaming in with a purpose, threatening to bash a few helmets and rip out a few fingers. We saw glimpses of the good old days, and the Indian batsman, barring few, were absolutely clueless.

The likes of Dhawan, Tiwary and Badrinath are big scorers back at home, here they look like school kids, fending away nervously and having neither the technique nor the temperament to survive. We saw this in the World Twenty 20 last year, and we saw it again. Give them a real pitch with real bowlers, and they have no idea.

Some West Indies Batting Spunk
Well its about time we saw a couple of young West Indians throwing the bat around and digging themselves out the rot. Some preferred to keep batting in slow motion (Samuels, Sarwan), but those who took some initiative a la Lendl Simmons and Andre Russell, really pulled the West Indies out of the moat. Russell in particular is a real delight to watch, a young whippersnapper with the right attitude and plenty of that famous West Indian swagger. A big future prospect.

The Michael Jackson of cricket is born. © Associated Press

The New Spin Doctors
Amit Mishra topped the wickets tally for both sides with a great economy rate of 3.98. He made the West Indian top order look extremely silly, and with Bhajji and Ashwin contributing next to nothing with the ball, he could well have cemented himself a spot. A new boy in the West Indies, Anthony Martin also made his mark with eight wickets and some hilarious press conference swagger. "Nobody destroys me on my pitch" he says, and its about time!

The Report Cards
And so The Cricket Musings will now play headmaster and grade the performances.

West Indies
Lendl Simmons - (7). A real trier, as he showed against Pakistan also. This puts him above most of his peers already.
Kirk Edwards - (2). Absolutely woeful, and should never be seen again.
Adrian Barath - (no score)
Ramnaresh Sarwan - (7). Somehow ended up with the most runs with an average of 54. He is nowhere near the old Sarwan but started to find his prime in game five.
Darren Bravo - (6). A frustrating player given that he is supremely talented. One hopes that he only needs time to become one of the moderns greats.
Marlon Samuels - (5). Good to see him back but only showed glimpses of his talented self. Needs to convert his starts.
Kieron Pollard - (6). Has the potential to become the West Indian Flintoff, if he just gets his priorities in order.
Carlton Baugh - (6). Gets more points for trying to at least build an innings and stick around. Formed some crucial partnerships and was handy with the gloves.
Darren Sammy - (3). As a bits and pieces player, he is contributing far too little and is quickly becoming a dead weight.
Andre Russell - (9). The find of the tournament. Not only did he belt more runs than most of the 'batsmen', he chimed in with eight wickets and lively pace. Another star in the making, we hope.
Dwayne Bravo - (2). Turned up for two matches when he needn't have. Go back to the IPL.
Danza Hyatt - (1). Two innings and one run. Goodnight.
Ravi Rampaul - (4). A mixed bag before being strangely rested for the remainder of the series.
Anthony Martin - (7). Eight wickets and a great attitude to boot. Another good find.
Devendra Bishoo - (5). Showed us how useful he is after a good world cup, but needs more game time.
Kemar Roach - (6). Didn't get many wickets, but Roach was key in getting the Indians hopping around.

India
Parthiv Patel - (5). Showed that he is handy at the top, but starts are not good enough.
Shikhar Dhawan - (3). Was awful with his 'defend-or-slog' mentality. Should not be seen again at this level.
Virat Kohli - (7). Lack of UDRS and the constant hailing as 'the future of Indian cricket' didn't help him. Be quiet and let the man bat.
S. Badrinath - (2). Atrocious technique against the short ball, again a huge reminder of the gap between Ranji Trophy and real cricket.
Manoj Tiwary - (2). Equally bad, will not make runs outside of India.
Rohit Sharma - (8). A huge learning curve and without him, India could have lost this 5-0. He needs more chances.
Suresh Raina - (3). Irresponsibly poor shot selection in crucial stages. Certainly no leader with the bat.
Yusuf Pathan - (1). Shocker. Badly needs a reminder that not every match is the IPL, and maybe some meditation.
Harbhajan Singh - (6). Steady with the ball and hard to get away. But as usual no wickets.
Praveen Kumar - (6). Really gets the ball to talk, and will be a good foil for Zaheer Khan.
Amit Mishra - (8). Great bowling, ensuring that the clueless West Indian top order could not build a solid total.
R. Ashwin - (4). Disappointing show, and completely outclassed by Mishra.
Munaf Patel - (8). Had my doubts about him, but he proved me wrong with accurate, no-nonsense bowling.
R. Vinay Kumar - (no score)
Ishant Sharma - (2). Is this really the same Ishant who had Ponting hopping around? A ghost.

So just for fun, lets average out these scores:
West Indies - 5.01 / 10
India - 4.64 / 10

Conclusion: These are two seriously bad teams.

It is wishful thinking, but by some miracle the poor standard of cricket might inspire the cricket boards and lazy players to actually turn up next time and make this the showpiece event it could have been. But given recent events, anything of the sort is only a distant dream.

A dream where Gayle isn't just a spectator with bad hair. © AFP

India vs West Indies 1st ODI - A Match Made of Slop

A cricket match must know it has a problem when even the one hour highlights are a dead bore. Fact, barring very few individuals we are seeing two very average teams playing in very average matches, with the slightly less average team coming out on top. We have to focus on the bad, as singling out moments of good cricket makes a very short blog entry.

The West Indian Lowlights
The shot selection by the West Indian top order was as if it was tequila inspired. Simmons and especially Edwards did not even have half a clue against steady pace bowling and some quality spin, swishing away aimlessly as if chasing a rogue fly. Apart from a great shot from Darren Bravo, it was mostly embarrassing.

The coaching clinic is that way son. © Associated Press

Sarwan and Samuels, the only real batsmen there, gave us glimpses of their skill laced among periods of nothingness. A combined 111 runs from 169 balls at a strike rate of 66, only managed to haul their team to a mediocre total of 214. That total too was helped by umpiring blunders and the BCCI's idiotic refusal to not use the DRS system. More capable opponents would have made the Indians really pay.

The Indian Lowlights
Rather than dismiss this total in the Hayden-Gilchrist-Ponting style of old (looking further and further in the past all the time), India kept the West Indies interested with an equally rudderless display. Shikhar Dhawan seemed intent on the 'six or nothing' method rather than accumulate runs, and threw his wicket away after grinding out a fifty. Rohit Sharma, despite settling down later on looked in full IPL mode, and was lucky to even get as far as he did. Only Suresh Raina looked organized, despite he too throwing his wicket away to a dumb shot.

The Reality Of It All
Just like the Pakistan vs West Indies series recently seen, this was like a B team tour match. Player greed and stupid politics ensure that the quality of international cricket is on a steady and alarming decline. It will only get worse as the IPL will rob us of quality cricket, and players will only save themselves for the 'big tours'. Just imagine if the teams were selected to their true potential:

1. Virender Sehwag

2. Sachin Tendulkar

3. Gautam Gambhir

4. Virat Kohli

5. Yuvraj Singh

6. Suresh Raina

7. MS Dhoni (c) (w)

8. Harbhajan Singh

9. R Ashwin

10. Zaheer Khan

11. Munaf Patel

Versus

1. Chris Gayle (c)

2. Adrian Barath

3. Darren Bravo

4. Ramnaresh Sarwan

5. Shiv Chanderpaul

6. Kieron Pollard

7. Dwayne Bravo

8. Carlton Baugh (w)

9. Kemar Roach

10. Jerome Taylor

11. Devendra Bishoo

His presence alone is worth more runs than Kirk Edwards. © Getty

The bolded players were present on the day, that's nine out of twenty two. Only our imaginations can savour this contest, In reality we will only get this garbage.

The Cricket World Cup 2011 Oscars

Its awards time at The Cricket Musings! This is an opportunity to commemorate the stand out performances of the 2011 world cup, be it good, bad or quirky. The judge and jury will be yours truly, however no physical awards will be handed out, as we believe cricketers are paid quite enough. Lets begin.

The Most Annoying Celebration Award
Winner - Harbhajan Singh
Removed Afridi in the semi-final with an off-stump full toss that deserved to be smashed over extra cover for six. We saw instead the token Afridi miscue, and Bhajji going off in a bizarre screaming, head twirling, seizure style celebration. Most of his wickets in the tournament came off average to rubbish deliveries.

Honorable Mention
The famous Afridi "bow before me" pose.


The Dodgy Hairstyle Award
Winner - Sreesanth
An horrid cross between Don King and Edward Scissorhands. After playing two games and getting tonked everywhere, this is the only accolades he will get.

Boo. © AFP

The Two-Face Award
Winner - Ross Taylor
The man who turned it all around for New Zealand. Should have been out twice, and looked woeful for most of his innings, before unleashing a hulk style assault on the hapless Pakistanis. Never before had I seen such a dramatic turn around in one mans innings.

Honorable Mentions

Umar Gul - From demon to deck scrubber in no time at all. Picked the worst game to do it as well.

Kamran Akmal - Also made the quick switch from iron gloves to good keeper, no surprises to see two Pakistani's nominated for this one.

The Houdini Award
Winner - Ireland
Ireland were fighting hard chasing a huge total, but never looked like winning at the halfway stage, with the odds 400-1 for an Irish win. Enter big burly Kevin O'Brien, who unleashed an onslaught so unbelievable it became the grandstand for the biggest upset of the world cup.

Honorable Mention
New Zealand - Didn't deserve to even get close against a South Africa side that appeared to be cruising along. Enter some brilliant catching, fielding and sledging, and the gritty Kiwi's sent the highly fancied team packing.

The Anticlimax Award
Winner - Pakistan
For their failure to turn up in what should have been the match of the tournament. Thank you for ruining the match with atrocious fielding and shot selection, and also for robbing Shoaib Akhtar of a final hurrah. I have massive doubts over the legitimacy of all this, but that can of worms can be opened another day. Special mention also to Razzaq, who disappointingly didn't produce any batting miracle we know he can give us.


The Irony Award
Winner - Saeed Ajmal and Harbhajan Singh
For delivering a perfect doosra to the very man who endorsed it. Poetic really.


The Umpire Howler Award
Winner - Amiesh Saheba
For denying Nathan McCullum what was a clean catch, and costing New Zealand crucial momentum in that match. Disgraceful.

Honorable Mention - Bruce Oxenford
The Gary Wilson situation, where the batsman was deemed to have not been playing a shot and given LBW, though he clearly was. Don't blame the technology, blame the moron behind it. Secondly, why not just do away with this stupid rule, if the ball will hit the stumps, it will hit the stumps. Period.


Best Quote
Winner - Waqar Younis
When asked the difference between Kamran Akmal and Michael Jackson, i.e. they both wear gloves for no reason, the reply was "The difference is one is dead". Brilliant, albeit not very politically correct.

Honorable Mention - Darren Sammy
Putting Graeme Swann's typical English whining in it's place, "... if there is dew, just get a towel and wipe the ball, simple".

The Sammy Swagger never made it on the field though. © Getty Images

Best Piece Of Fielding
Winner - Chris Mpofu
For a stunning throw from the boundary that crashed into the stumps and sent a comfortable Ponting on his way. Inadvertently led to a poor LCD TV feeling Punters wrath.

Honorable Mentions
Nathan McCullum - For that aforementioned catch that was wrongly denied.
Jesse Ryder - For a stunning diving catch that sent the dangerous Upul Tharanga on his way. Big man or not, he can move all right.
Jacob Oram - The catch that turned the match. Removing Kallis in the quarter final was one of the huge blows for South Africa. Notice how there are three kiwi's on this list?


Best Bowling Performance
Winner - Dale Steyn 5 wickets for 50 runs vs India
Blew away the hapless Indian lower order to bring back South Africa from what should have been a slaughtering. He is a brilliant fast bowler wasted on dead tracks.

Honorable Mentions
Tim Bresnan 5 for 48 vs India  - Similar situation to Steyn, crucially held it together to ensure that the Indian onslaught did not end up at 400.
Ravi Rampaul 5 for 51 vs India - Awesome performance for a man who was initially left out, it should have been a match winning one too.
Shahid Afridi 4 for 34 vs Sri Lanka - This performance in Sri Lanka's back yard was a towering pillar on the night, amazing how it all just disappears when it counts the most.


Best Individual Innings
Winner - Kevin O'Brien 113 vs England
Incredible stuff from the big man against the old enemy. World records aside, what made this knock special was the underdog context behind it.

Honorable Mentions
Mahela Jayawardene 103 vs India - Beautifully crafted this innings with only silken, delightful stroke-play and deserved to be a winning masterpiece.
Ross Taylor 134 vs Pakistan - As mentioned earlier, this incredible innings seemed to restore the hunger and self belief that drove New Zealand to the semi finals.
Virender Sehwag 175 Bangladesh - The warning to the world. Sehwag got the revenge he desired by bullying a capable Bangladeshi attack on their home turf.
Andrew Strauss 158 vs India - A classy, correct innings that got the world to notice England, too bad he got reduced to a bumbling mess in their quarter final exit.

Best Utility
Winner - Yuvraj Singh 
Put away all the flashy stuff and eased himself to controlled, match winning half centuries. Also had the golden arm in the tournament, putting Bhajji to shame by bowling tight, getting turn and picking up timely wickets. Even his fielding was back to his younger days (almost).

Honorable Mentions
The New Zealand Team - They are the definition of utility players. A failure with the bat or ball doesn't mean the end of their day, and when the whole machine fits together, they are only a Crowe or a Hadlee short of a champion team.
Trent Johnson - Was his usual old self, tonking useful runs, taking sharp catches and snapping up crucial wickets. Records will never show how valuable this guy is.


Best Fielding Unit
Winner - New Zealand
By a country mile. Their catching and ground fielding was absolutely peerless, and South Africa more than anyone know the reward what brilliant fielding can bring. The difference between being a crashed out quarter finalist, and a respected semi-finalist.


Best Match
Winner - England vs Ireland
*That* match again, enough has been said about it already.

Honorable Mentions
India vs England - But for the underdog status of the Irish, this would have been the match of the tournament. 
India vs South Africa - Another frantic match that ebbed and flowed more than the stock markets. A real lesson on how to stop a batting juggernaut.
South Africa vs England - The choke that got them worried.
South Africa vs New Zealand - The choke that sent them home.


Best Overall Bowler
Winner - Zaheer Khan
By a country mile. He is no more the fiery quick of 2003 or the one who got manhandled by Tamim Iqbal in 2007. He has developed a Vaas-like guile and control to his bowling, and without him, India would not have won the world cup. Make no mistake about that.

Dishonorable Mention
Afridi may have equalled the wicket tally with Zaheer, but ripping through Canada and Kenya doesn't count, thank you very much.


Best Overall Batsman
Winner - Sachin Tendulkar
This choice was surprisingly easy. Dilshan may have more runs, but look at the context of the performances. Given the collapses that followed, the centuries against England and South Africa were invaluable. His half century against Australia was of the highest order, and as ugly as his Pakistan knock was, it was the difference between 260 and 160. Much like Zaheer, his presence was a big reason why India came out victorious.

The image that will be etched in the memories of 2011. © AFP

This tournament truly was a festival of cricket, providing the full array of skills and plenty of thrilling moments. Well done to the participants, for providing a fantastic and memorable world cup, be it through mighty ability, or moments of ineptitude. Farewell also to Muralitharan, who was one match shy of the grand exit he richly deserved.

World Cup 2011 - The Blue Era Begins

And so after three consecutive world cups, and over ten years of uncontested dominance, we have a new team crowned winners. I have made it no secret that I am no fan of this Indian team, but its time for a quiet admission on my part through clenched teeth. India deserve to be crowned champions. 

It also invited bad puns. © Associated Press

India had their usual misfields, but Sri Lanka had more. India had poor backup bowlers, but Sri Lanka's were worse. The first innings was a scramble around the brilliant Jayawardene. The run chase, barring the first few overs, was precise, restrained and quality batting. One can harp on about dropped catches, injuries and leaving Mendis out (some even dare to say that Sangakkara cheated at the toss), but it came down to a very simple fact, the better team won.


Are They The Best In The World?
Yes, despite their flaws. While they were sloppy throughout, you cannot argue with results, their only loss was narrowly to South Africa. The ease in which they got over the final, with who was without doubt the number two team really highlights this. As much as I hunted for excuses for the Sri Lankan's losing, there were none.

It of course helped that this all took place on dead home pitches, and they probably will struggle more outside of the subcontinent. But that is no reason to begrudge them, every series or world cup is held at some venue, and a home side will have an advantage. Its part of the game.


Are They Better Than The Australian Empire?
Absolutely not. Not even close actually. The Australians were magnificent, they would field eleven top class players with no apparent weakness in any department. Think six Tendulkars, three Zaheers, a Sangakkara and a Murali, who all field like Raina and Dilshan. Scary wasn't it. They could have fielded a second eleven and beat most world teams, such was their depth.

India and Sri Lanka emerged on top because the Aussie fortress collapsed (well, retired), not the other way around. I honestly believe that the Indian team of 2003 is equal, if not stronger than this one, and we all saw what happened to them.

Ouch. © Neil Lane

There is a long way to go before any team is as good as these guys were.

Why We Thank India's Victory
They bring in the numbers, of that there is no doubt. They were excellent hosts of this tournament, and the event was a big success. With the Indians backing it up, at least we can be rest assured that the fifty over game is in safe hands. They didn't "IPL" the game thankfully and left it in its own, mostly original and glorious form.

India is also one to embrace other teams I feel. Out of sheer numbers, smaller teams such as Ireland will get their supporters, particularly with a few of them featuring in the IPL already, along their first Dutch player to join them this year. All cricket lovers cannot deny that a strong Indian fan base and their passion is great for the sport.

Why We Regret India's Victory
The overindulgence has already begun. The amount of money that gets poured into the game is truly astounding, with each player receiving a 1 crore bonus ($200,000 USD roughly). It doesn't sound like much, but 1 crore in India is more than what the average man will ever see in his lifetime. Worse still given that half the team were average, if not poor throughout the tournament. They simply do not know when to stop, especially with money. The BCCI are already powerful, with having more control over cricket than the ICC itself, this victory means more power.

Too much power is never good.

The hero worship is almost laughingly bad, with patriotic film songs booming throughout the game as if India was welcoming a victorious army on independence day. All that was left really was Aamir Khan to jump out onto the pitch and win the match Lagaan style with "Mere Desh Ki Dharti" running in the background (to the non-Indian readers, something like Queen's "We Are The Champions").

And you need to be in, or have been to India to see just how far the endorsements go, with cricket players all over clothing labels, Pepsi ads, hair gel, even this monstrosity from Nike:

Get used to it folks, cricket will indeed bleed blue for the coming years.

World Cup 2011 - One Empire Falls, Others Stay Down

We said our goodbyes to the minnows, now it is time to watch the big names in cricket to depart from world cup 2011, to face their media at home and heal the scars over the next four years. The teams that left us however were no small fries, these were four of the biggest nations of the game.

West Indies
What can anyone say about these guys. They did a Bangladesh on us for a little while, flattering to deceive, convincing us that after throwing away winning positions against England and India, that they at least had the mettle for a fight.

Lies, all lies.

We have seen it for ten years. The fun, futile Gayle bash, the classic Chanderpaul grind, and the others blown away like the first two little pigs. Dumping players does not replace lack of mental strength, I see no answer. This once proud cricketing nation will continue fumbling about in its own ruins.

Australia
This is the end of the Aussies, the final nail in the coffin. Having already lost the prized ashes both home and away, they never looked like retaining crickets holy grail for a fourth time. Savour this moment:

© Associated Press

It is symbolic in many ways, the wounded Australian, fighting tooth and nail to only come up short. We hadn't seen this in the Australian empire that lasted nearly fifteen years, Australian sides almost never came up short. Ponting played his ugliest, most determined hundred of his career, the others around him simply lacked the skill to cope. One might even feel sympathetic, if they were not so brash and abrasive when on top.

Rather than the grinning, leaping Australians, we have crunched eyebrows and chin scratching amidst Salman Khan impersonations behind them. The powers have shifted from the arrogant empire to the Bollywood empire.

South Africa
I did warn South Africa, but even I was surprised at the clockwork. The key ingredients were a freak Amla dismissal (sheer dumb luck), some outstanding fielding and a de Villiers run out worthy of mention among the Klusener of 99. From that point on it was just a matter of bowling tight, holding catches, and watching South Africa machine disintegrate in its own madness.

 A pinch of salt for your wound? © Associated Press

Sledging is fun to watch, but I don't agree one bit about this war of words from New Zealand. For a team renowned for its sportmanship, often only that, this is just getting a bit silly. There is no need to slide back into the Adam Parore days, in which the Black Caps were essentially Australia in disguise, minus the wins. These two teams have a history of getting on each others nerves, probably starting out when Fleming really getting under the skin of a young Graeme Smith. Maybe that had something to do with it?

But that's hardly the point here. The point is that South Africa have never won a world cup playoff match. Ever. Since their return to cricket in the early 90's, there has been no such thing as a weak South African team. They are rightfully gobsmacked, as we all are, how can they simply fail to win, every single time? This is the empire which has done nothing but underachieved.


England
Will make like the English football team and bemoan their injury list as their token excuse for 2011, but there are no excuses. They never had the strength, mentally or skillfully, to win this world cup. The way Strauss in particular heaved and ho'd like the drunken master really illustrated where they are at right now.

Heading in this direction.

Losing by ten wickets, especially with a 200+ score, is inexcusable really. This is the nation that gave birth to this game, their ODI status has remained constant for many a year. They will always remain a collection of top county cricketers and overseas players rather than anything resembling a team.

World Cup 2011 - Indian Cricket Steyned

It was a boisterous and packed out Vidarbha Stadium, Nagpur. The Sehwag and Tendulkar train had taken off and the bollywood star-studded crowd created a cyclonic storm of noise and support. The obviously thrilled Indian commentators spoke of a 400 plus score, and things looked as bleak as ever for South Africa, in theory anyway.

Ah but then...
I can recall explicitly saying this game plan can fall apart with good bowling. I'm not always right, but I love it when I am. The axe finally came crashing down, at 267-1 in the 40th over, the most spectacularly mindless batting performance unfolded. They lost nine wickets for 29 runs. The first team in the world cup to truly meet the wrath of Dale Steyn.

2-267 (Tendulkar, 39.4 ov), 3-268 (Gambhir, 40.1 ov), 4-268 (Pathan, 40.3 ov),5-283 (Yuvraj Singh, 42.6 ov), 
6-286 (Kohli, 43.6 ov), 7-293 (Harbhajan Singh, 46.5 ov), 8-294 (Khan, 47.4 ov),
9-296 (Nehra, 48.3 ov), 10-296 (Patel, 48.4 ov)

And these numbers don't even tell the full story. Six of those were poor slogs straight to fielders, four came in the atrocity known as the batting powerplay, and during that period there was only solitary six, no other boundaries. The crowd was reduced to making Akmal faces in funeral silence.

Pictured: One seriously sick worm © Cricinfo.com

Now I am not a cynic, I don't want the Indians to crash and burn just for the heck of it, and I do feel sympathetic for Tendulkar. If they learn from their mistakes and become a better team for it, then I will rightfully praise them. Here is my advice to the team.

1. Ones And Twos
Especially at the death, you cannot 'Ross Taylor' every innings. When things are not going right, don't try and smash your way out of it, find the gaps and look for twos, they really do add up. India jogs the first run, therefore never capitalize on misfields. Michael Hussey and Michael Clarke are two prime examples of how it should be done, the odd boundary plus excellent running fetches eight an over without that same risk.


2. Stop Acting
Enough with the dancing in the dressing rooms, the exaggerated dives when taking simple catches, the noses-up walking with style. And don't even get me started on the body painting. Why not get the results first, and act 'cool' later. Unlike Bollywood, the lines are not rehearsed and there are no out-takes. If you mess up, you look like a clown, plain and simple.

Bollywood Brokeback? © Getty Images

3. Stop Trying To Be Australia

Especially with the tough guy stares, the sledges and the big talk. Australia back up their tenacity with the utmost skill, a culture developed over years of hard work. Last night especially I saw a few profanities being mouthed off. Its very easy to lose respect. At least New Zealand, when at times lacking anything else, get credit for playing with humility. The Australian attitude is not the aspiration, try the 70's West Indies instead.


4. Enough Worship And Bias
This is one is aimed at the spectators and the commentators.

• Sachin is not god.
• Munaf Patel is not McGrath (!).
• How many times can you say "outstanding shot" or "incredible batting" to a hoick over the infield?
• Seems every member of the top seven is "dangerous", "a class player" and a "big wicket".
• Rather than say "holed out to mid on", maybe give credit to the excellent Steyn slower ball bowled at Gambhir's body.
• You conveniently ignore the bad Indian fielding, full tosses or glory slogs, and sound depressed when it does happen.

Did I just say biased commentary, sounds very Australian! (The exception is Ravi Shastri). Without doubt the best commentators in world cricket are the English, bring on Bumble, not these bumblers. 

World Cup 2011 - England vs South Africa (And The C Word)

This changes everything. Instead of coasting at the top of the table, South Africa have slumped to fourth. Instead of flirting with elimination, England sit comfortably at second place. Lets review the match as it happened, rather than as the end product.

England 15/3 (5 overs)
The match is over already. The trio of Strauss, Pietersen and Bell playing inexplicably lazy shots to send England in a very quick spiral to nowhere. The first-over-spinner trick working wonders again.
Advantage - South Africa

Learn from Chris Gayle. © AFP

England 112/3 (29 overs)
Bopara and Trott doing the dirty work and getting England to a position where they can launch. Best part of twenty overs left, and an opportunity to reach a respectable 240. Good recovery and good sensible batting.
Advantage - None

England 171/10 (45.4 overs)
So much for that. South Africa to get home in a canter, England proving they are pretenders.
Advantage - South Africa

South Africa 57/0 (13 overs)
Why the hell is Michael Yardy opening the bowling? He strikes me as a nothing cricketer. If you are going to have a bits and pieces player, at least get one that contributes bits and pieces. Smith looking a bit dodgy but Amla cruising along. Game over. Time to flick over to the India vs Ireland game.
Advantage - South Africa

South Africa 84/3 (20 overs)
Smith gone, well he was looking a bit iffy anyway. Amla gone, he'll be annoyed his average may dip below 60. Kallis gone, hmm...
Advantage - None

South Africa 127/7 (37 overs)
Is the bowling this good? Or is the batting this dumb? Bit of both. South Africa appear to be stuck in a complete limbo,  inexplicable given the size of this chase. Do I dare use the C word now? No! This is the new South Africa.
Advantage - England

South Africa 159/7 (46 overs)
There, told you. Finally some sensible batting and they are only 13 runs short now and looking at ease. England giving them free runs by bowling Pietersen. Forget the C word, South Africa are continuing to be the trend setters, and this scare will do them good. Bring on India.
Advantage - South Africa

South Africa 165/10 (47.4 overs)

© Getty Images

Chokers.

World Cup 2011 - England vs Ireland Verdict

I said there was an upset on the cards, but I didn't expect it to be this spectacular. A glorious result, great for the associate nations and for the world cup. England were probably feeling slightly cocky after pulling off the tie against India recently, not anymore. Where and how did England lose this match?

This Is India
There is no other place in the world that Ireland will chase down 328. Suddenly India's batting powers are put into perspective and the status of international bowling in general needs a bit of a look. One thing is perfectly clear, bashing 300+ is no longer enough for anybody.

Pietersen's Madness
We know he is capable of brain explosions, but this one is a true classic. He has had no centuries since 2008, and its no wonder.

16.6	Stirling to Pietersen, OUT, would you believe it? I guess you would have to. Ridiculous end to promising innings. Having faced two deliveries from Stirling, and played neither well, Pietersen aims a cute, reverse-dab. Manages a top edge that loops up for O'Brien to gobble behind the stumps
	KP Pietersen c †NJ O'Brien b Stirling 59 (77m 50b 7x4 2x6) SR: 118.00

Cut the cutesies and get some runs please. © Getty Images

Death Batting, Or Lack Of
Buzzing along at 274/2 after 42 overs, England's 'late charge' produced 53 runs for six wickets, in 8 overs. In a world where 327 is the new 227, this was vital. These death over batting power-plays are proving to be a burden for batting teams, often collapsing in a mad rush rather than taking advantage. It really goes to show that stupid gimmicks don't replace skill.

The Luck Of The Irish
Or the butter fingers of the English. Joyce dropped on 21, Niall O'Brien on 11, Wilson on 0, Kevin O'Brien on 93 and Cusack on 32. The total cost, 67 runs and the game. Catches win matches folks, plain and simple.

And Of Course...

The toast of the town. Kevin O'Brien © Getty Images

The fastest ever world cup century.

What an achievement, and what a statement to the ICC. This world cup is alive folks.