Finally Some Real India-Pakistan Cricket

Last year we saw the two biggest rivals clash in what should have been the semi-final all cricket fans dream of.  But we instead got a dog's breakfast of a match where both teams were more interested in smiling like clowns and dropping catches at a rate that would make Akmal proud.

Fast forward about a year and we had Virat in the middle of his purple patch (remember that?) blasting Pakistan away with his "future of Indian cricket" form. His celebration alone showed us exactly what an Indo-Pakistan match is all about, passion, pride, bruised ego's and a uncompromising will to win.  This was followed by an enthusiastic but much too short encounter in the T20 World Cup.

And now, we finally have what we have been waiting for... this is the first *real* tour in five years and already it has wasted no time delivering exactly what has been expected. Some of the highlights then:

1. Throwing Toys of the Pram
After the classic Prasad vs Sohail gambit there has been too few moments where tempers really waned and the opposition gave each other a good old fashioned spray. Boy was I glad to see the Ishant perching over Akmal like an irate giraffe who had his lunch money stolen.

"That's Mr Giraffe to you" © AFP

2. Blowing Away Top Orders
This would make even the big bad wolf proud.

3. Staunch Resistance
The man I love to hate produced a true gem to rescue India from the hopeless (yes there you go, a rare Dhoni compliment).  Finest innings of his career.

4. New Heroes
Where the hell did Bhuvaneshwar Kumar come from? If Zaheer Khan's bizarre axing resulted in this kid, so be it. Finally an Indian bowler who can actually swing the ball and bowls with a cricketing brain. This country in its history has produced only three quick of proper quality, do we have a fourth?

But not all is rosy...

No Tendulkar?
Life is just not the same without him really. I was calling for his retirement earlier but I am surprised he called it before this tour and especially in one day cricket. Surely there is no greater stage set up for one last hurrah? He could have walked out there and gone ballistic, given it to his arch rivals one last time. That's what I call going out with a bang! Not to be.

No Test Matches?
This will be over before you can blink, too bad that after two more ODI matches and this clash will be done.



But lets savour those two matches then shall we?

World Cup 2011 - The Dream Semi-Final Preview

With the quarter finals dusted, for a fleeting moment, all other things in cricket will be insignificant. History won't matter, the other teams won't matter, the looming grand finale won't matter. Nothing matters but this moment, the two biggest rivals in international cricket, the biggest of all grudge matches, the one that promises to be the greatest semi final clash of all time. That moment, bearing down upon us, is India vs Pakistan.

Who will be left standing? © AFP 

The Last Meeting
They last met nearly a year ago in Sri Lanka in an Asia Cup match, with Harbhajan smashing a six off the penultimate delivery to clinch a tight thriller. The second last encounter was half a year before that, with Pakistan throwing India out of the Champions Trophy thanks to a Shoaib Malik century. Curiously neither Malik or India's best batsman on the day, Rahul Dravid, are in this world cup. These two have not been playing frequently, and like caged panthers are eager to get at each other.


The Last World Cup Meeting
Believe it or it, it was eight years ago when Sachin Tendulkar tore apart an attack that read Wasim, Waqar, Shoaib, Razzaq and Afridi. That game too was after a massive gap between the teams, and it was one of the most memorable world cup thrashings anyone can remember. India went on to race to the final while a strong Pakistan outfit were sent crashing home.


The Last World Cup Meeting In India
Track back to 1996, in another spectacular match in Bangalore. India for once played as a team (did somebody say corruption?), and set Pakistan a decent total. Aamir Sohail and Saeed Anwar began carving the Indian bowling in such a brutal manner that the Chinnaswamy was rendered laughingly mute. Until this happened.

The mother of all brain explosions, and the rest as they say is history (of course, until this happened not long after).


Where Does India Stand?
India continue to deceive. Sachin Tendulkar has been saving their batting from blushes, with the likes of Sehwag and Gambhir relying on the slog-out-of-trouble, and the lower order in pure unadulterated IPL mode, barring the steady Yuvraj Singh. Zaheer meanwhile is rescuing their bowling, disguising how woefully inept Munaf, Harbhajan and most of their fielding is. Don't let the Indian commentators fool you, this is a team running on three players. Much of India's success came down to opposition failures.

Where Does Pakistan Stand?
I never thought I would call this side balanced, but they are bowling beautifully, with a varied and classy bowling attack. Notice how they actually turn the ball (take note Sanjay Manjrekar, and stop kidding yourself with Bhajji). They field adequately, but only an inch ahead of India, and the batting has been just enough, albeit nothing impressive. One must never forget though that this is a team containing Afridi, Razzaq and Umar Akmal, if even one of them has a good day, India do not have the bowlers to do anything about it. Afridi to open maybe?

The Clashes
Forget Sam Worthington, in the battlefield of cricket we have the following titanic match ups to savour:

Gul vs Tendulkar/Sehwag
How will India's big guns at the top respond to controlled and quality pace bowling? If Shoaib gets a crack at them too, it will be a great opening gambit.


Afridi vs Yuvraj, and Yuvraj vs Afridi
A unique contest, the bowler who pretends to bat versus the batsman who pretends to bowl. Who is the bigger pretender? We also have the Bollywood Superstar (BS) Award, with Afridi the hot favorite.


Kamran Akmal vs His Hands
What a crucial battle this is! Will Kamran's hands be made of cast iron? Will he rattle up the local heroes with his sharp tongue? Will we see 'The Face'?

© Getty Images

Razzaq vs Everyone
And in the background, quietly minding his own business, the Silent Assassin looms. The stage is certainly ripe for the ninja to strike.


Who Will Win?
Forget the form books. Given that this is an India-Pakistan match, each of the players will find an extra 10% from somewhere. It will be unpredictable, it will be intense, it will be turbo charged. The Pakistani PM will be there, along with the token slew of Bollywood actors, some on the field. I don't know who will win, and to be honest, does it even matter?












Forgetting Something?
Fine fine, Sri Lanka to beat New Zealand in a 2007 semi final rematch.

World Cup 2011 - Pakistan vs New Zealand (+ Kamran Akmal)

There is one word that accurately describes this match. 
Absurd. 


Lets take a quick internet field trip, absurdity is:

• inconsistent with reason or logic or common sense
• a ludicrous folly
• a word meaning ridiculous, commonly used by the character Snape

What am I talking about?
Lets recap.

The Absurd Taylor

Scratching and poking around like an absent minded gardener, Ross Taylor batted as if he wanted to be put out of his misery. Playing and missing, miscuing, and taking dodgy singles. Somehow (explained later) he had survived until the 46h over and was on an uncomfortable 76 off 111 balls with a freshly out-of-form Jacob Oram for company. 210 was all New Zealand had to show for their efforts so far.

Will the real Ross Taylor please stand up © Associated Press

But then came a burst that would make Jayasuriya proud. This was one of the most remarkable turn-arounds I have seen in any ODI innings, Taylor and Oram smashed a partnership of 85 runs off 22 balls, the last four overs producing a scarcely believable 92 runs. It included 6 fours and 10 sixes, throwing in five wides for good measure. Remember I am talking 4 overs here, and not against rubbish either, this was Shoaib, Razzaq and Rehman. Suddenly New Zealand had 302, and I am still shaking my head in disbelief. 

Of course this was helped by...

The Absurd Kamran

The word 'failure' in the dictionary should be replaced with a picture of Kamran Akmal. It must have taken some serious restraint for Shoaib Akhtar and Shahid Afridi to resist knocking his block off, after fluffing two regulation Ross Taylor catches. Thats centurion Ross Taylor... in the same over... when he was on 0 and 8. I said before that this man can cost Pakistan the world cup, today was proof.

And stay down. © Getty Images

He is an enigma. It is mind boggling beyond belief how a cricketer, who is hands down the worst wicketkeeper I've ever seen, can escape being dropped or banned (or worse). This guy seems to get away with destroying games and Danish Kaneria's test averages with only that same sheepish, idiotic expression to show for it. Its insulting for him to encourage his bowlers and fielders in the following overs, who is he to chirp up his teammates? If the man cared an ounce for Pakistani cricket, he would retire effective immediately and disappear to a dark corner of the planet and never be seen again.

I don't believe that Kamran's failures are down to pure lack of skill.
Make of that what you will.

World Cup 2011 - Pakistan vs Sri Lanka Verdict

The trumpets blared, the horns bellowed and the whistles rang all night in a packed out Premadasa stadium. It was a cauldron like atmosphere in which an energetic and determined Pakistan out-gunned the Sri Lankans, a mighty effort.

If they turn up with this much enthusiasm every time, they can take down any opponent. The match see-sawed constantly but you always felt that Sri Lanka were one step behind, the Pakistanis batted with purpose and bowled with menace.

Except for one guy.

Kamran Akmal, take a bow. © Getty Images

How this man manages to become a first choice keeper-batsman is mystifying. His record on paper is passable, but papers do not show the moments of sheer lunacy he can produce. This match was a great example of it, sample on these excerpts from the equally frustrated Cricinfo commentator:

20.2

Herath to Kamran Akmal, OUT, Well, Pakistan have lost three wickets. Kamran has taken more than any of the Sri Lankan bowlers - two. After sending Hafeez back with his wily running, he's now accounted for himself with an inexplicable unremarkable charge down the track. He seemed to have decided long back that, no matter what, this had to go over long on. And so he proceeded - to run down the track like a bull that had seen a red rag. Herath just stuck to his guns, landed it on middle and got it to turn away, past Kamran's mad, mad swipe. Miss. He doesn't have much time to turn back. Sanga does the rest. He didn't even turn back. Just kept walking. Good idea too. Vintage Kamran.

Kamran Akmal st †Sangakkara b Herath 39 (68m 48b 5x4 0x6) SR: 81.25

30.1	Abdur Rehman to Sangakkara, 5 wides, Kamran fluffs a stumping, all is well with the world, Rehman beat Sanga with some flight, and angling it down the leg side, he got some extra bounce again, which beat Kamran totally, Sanga was in no position to get back

34.6

Abdur Rehman to Sangakkara, 1 wide, Kamran, oh Kamran. Another fluffed stumping. Same as before, Sanga jumps out a mile looking to flick. Rehman sees him and fires it wide, Sanga misses and is halfway down the track. Kamran whips the bails off. Find the missing link - yes, Kamran did not collect. I now know the only weak link in Pakistan's side. It is behind the stumps.

What if Sangakkara went on to win the match?
This man can cost you a world cup. Be warned Pakistan.

Ah the memories of Sydney. © Getty Images