The Super Smash Conundrum

In the continual flood of domestic T20 hooey raining upon us all year wide; athletes formerly known as cricketers strut about in coloured pyjamas engaging in high powered baseball cricket.  It's been on for a few years now, and with time it became clear that the IPL and the Big Bash reign supreme among the various PLs' in Pakistan, Bangladesh, The Caribbean and England.

But more importantly, and rather sadly, it became clear which of these tournaments didn't rise to the top, New Zealand's very own fast food variety, the Super Smash.

While one might not be a resounding advocate of T20, we have to accept it exists, it's here to stay, and even may even go as far as deserving its place as an energetic crowd-pull over a couple of lazy beers.

Our flavour is no different to the rest of the leagues, in theory at least; a series of domestic level teams tearing apart a torrent of bowling mediocrity, partaken on postage stamps as each forgettable match follows another until we have an equally forgettable 'champion'.

The difference is, our version is dead; but perhaps with a bit of foresight and imagination it doesn't have to be this way.

Two ways we can instantly fix it:

1. Bring In The People
Granted, it's not easy to plan around an international calendar for all three formats of the game, but there needs to be a deliberate effort made to get a T20 window blocked out. Guess what already found success in New Zealand? Rugby Sevens and Auckland Nines. 

Putting the fun in fun-sized, the heavily concentrated and time-boxed events worked wonders simply because they were easy to plan for and commit to; they packed a quick punch and it was over with without saturating it's potential.

Could this work for cricket? In T20 absolutely.

A one month tournament is insanely long, we simply do not have the spectator base to hold up that level of interest.  Trim it to a week.  

We only have six teams and have the ability to crack through two games a day - no different to a day out during a regular ODI match. If everyone plays each other once, that's 15 games + 1 final, easily done.  Turn each venue into a real carnival; milk it with fan zones, player meets, and the sureshot option of handing out free stuff.  Why not dish out free data spots offered by a happy sponsor?

Unlike vanilla cricket this is the chance to get creative, at the moment there simply isn't enough imagination.

2. Bring In The Players
Now that there's bums on seats, we need action.  The lack of cricketing star power has plagued our domestic competition for decades, there simply never is enough emotional investment.

Now with all due respect to the Carl Cachopas' and Scott Kuggeligns' of our world, the future of our sport needs to be playing alongside our top graders to develop themsleves and importantly truly get our attention. The team sheets are simply not magnetic enough to register on most radars.   We gamely try to give the competition TV & radio coverage, but this is all akin to Roger Federer's presence in Auckland in 2000. A diamond in the making is simply a lump of rock.

What do we really want to see?

We want to see Brendon McCullum ruthlessly charging Trent Boult, the way he audaciously attacked Dale Steyn and Mitchell Johnson.  Boult retaliates, rapping one into his ribs, McCullum then tries to counter but it nips back in a touch and he loses his pegs. Our country's best bowler versus our most lunatic batsman, now that I'll make time for.

How about Ish Sodhi fire through Ross Taylor like a hot curry with that wicked wrong'un, fresh after a couple of Taylor patented slog sweeps have disappeared into the banks.   Will a Tim Southee yorker land or get hit clean out of the ground by Martin Guptill?  Does the old fox Daniel Vettori still have a trick or two, or will the forgotten Jesse Ryder bash him out of the attack?

The Super Smash, should, have your answers. At the moment it's not asking questions.

If you start to introduce stakes to the game, then you might attract more riches - the Pollards' and Pietersens' of the world.  Get enough West Indians here and you might even get Chris Gayle touching NZ soil in the one format he really cares about.  Now there's a crowd puller.

Why not throw in a mandatory couple of under-19 players?  Cash in on a bit of free talent exposure.



These little encounters are the stuff of cricket, especially this brand of cricket.  It is designed to be grandiose and gladiatorial; what use is that without gladiators?

Cricket Max made the same mistake two decades ago, remember Carl Bulfin anyone? 

The Stokes-Starc Drama

We have just witnessed one of the real oddities of the game of cricket. 

In case you missed it:

• Kiwi-Englishman Ben Stokes hit the ball straight back to the bowler, the reputably aggressive Mitchell Starc
• Starc hurled it back at breakneck speed attempting to smash the wickets and remove Stokes baseball style
• Stokes stuck his hand out to block the throw and was subsequently dismissed for 'obstructing the field'

© foxsports.com.au

And now the cricketing world has blown up, a plethora of debate erupted from one ball of madness.

Question: Is it moral?

This topic is entirely subjective and farms out cricketing hypocrites like anything. The subject of 'gentlemen's game' and 'doing the right thing' is a red herring, even the cleanest outfit in the world has dirty laundry. The team in question is of course our humble Black Caps, remember the incident where McCullum ran out Muralitharan even though the universe knew he wasn't after a single? Now here he is on his high horse crying foul.

The Irish-Englishman captain in question has also taken the tall and mighty ground claiming he would have "withdrawn the appeal". Rubbish. I don't agree with Australians often, but George Bailey was bang on in calling this "a big thing to say". The poms are some of the worst when it comes to sporting behavior and moral standards on the field, the likes of Swann and Anderson are disgraceful.

They, and just about every other cricketing nation, has absolutely no grounds to call the card of "Blasphemy!  We would never do that!".

Question: Who do we blame?

There wouldn't be a debate if there wasn't somebody to point fingers at.

Suspect #1: Mitchell Starc. A bowler trying to destroy the stumps while fielding a return ball is commonplace. It could be a genuine attempt to run out the player, a cheap tactic to intimidate the batsman, or a dirty attempt to actually hit the batsmen. Usually only the Australians venture into the bottom end of the scale, as seen even by Starc himself taking aim at Kieron Pollard. *However* in this case I believe Starc was taking a legitimate shot at the stumps when the batsman was outside his crease. He was not trying to hit Stokes, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. 

Verdict: Not Guilty. 

Suspect #2: Ben Stokes. It is illegal to obstruct the ball from a fielders attempt at the stumps, he knew it and anyone with a reasonable eye on the game also knows it. However a look at the replays very clearly shows that this was all about self-preservation. He was genuinely concerned he was about to wear a leather red cricket ball coming at 200kph on his face, and stuck his hand out based on pure instinct and reflex. He was *not* trying to cheat and prevent his own run out. 

Verdict: Not Guilty. 

Suspect #3: The Rules. 

There is surprisingly a piece in the laws of cricket that captures the crux of this problem, self-preservation. 

Law 37 describes the following three circumstances where this applies, but the law is not limited to these circumstances. If, after completing the act of playing the ball, the batsmen willfully strikes the ball with a hand not holding the bat, unless this is in order to avoid injury, or any other part of his person or with his bat

This is a clear cut case of Stokes valuing his head (literally).

Verdict: Not Guilty.

This leaves one remaining culprit...

Suspect #4: The Umpires.
It went upstairs to be looked at, so the on-field umpires did the right thing here and called on the appropriate authority. They took the heat off themselves and avoided a rash and hurried decision. The third umpire then had the benefit of slow motion replays, interpreted the laws in a subjective and opinionated manner, and then sent Stokes on his way. In his eyes there would have been reasonable doubt either way, and in my opinion neither Starc nor Stokes were guilty... hence how can I fault the third umpire for taking a stance he had to make?
Verdict: Not Guilty. 

... Then who is guilty?

The answer is, nobody. And that is what makes any sport interesting.

The uncertainties and the debate are the life of the game. There isn't any right or wrong answer and it can be argued to death in every way. If it was possible to apply a mechanical decision on everything how boring would that be?

Truth is, the best we can all do is take a stance, have an enjoyably loud argument about it, and then get on with the rest of this fascinating series. 

World Cup 2015 - Aus vs NZ, Match of the Tournament?

Forget the famous India vs Pakistan rivalry for a moment.

Forget the Ashes, England have descended back into the 90s and don't look like coming out.

If we are talking cricketing rivalries, surely Australia vs New Zealand is now the most anticipated match up in world cricket.  This match was no exception.

Consider:

• Both teams are co-hosts and equally red hot favorites to win
• It was 23 years ago at this very venue when Martin Crowe's men stunned Australia
• The Trans-Tasman rivalry has been shelved in favor of the "big three" playing each other endlessly, we are deprived of Chappell-Hadlee battles.

The entire nation was humming, four million cricket nuts pumped and ready to dream big, boo David Warner and outplay the Aussies back over the ditch. For once we actually had eleven players capable of the feat, but even so it was an incredibly tough game to pick as both sides are extremely similar. Madness at the top, class in the middle, terrific bowling & fielding and a bloody mindedness to win at all costs.

Have we become a warm friendly version of the win hungry-Aussies, is little brother now an identical twin?


The match was arguably the most extraordinary world cup game of all time (top three at least). It was one of those rare surreal experiences in sport where the contest is so much more than just a bunch of guys on TV bashing a ball around with sticks. The history, the context, the emotion were all brewed in a perfect cocktail of cricket.

Like any truly memorable game the match swung like Wasim Akram in-swingers on grass:

1. Southee Nails Finch - Those first few overs were Zaheer Khan 2003 territory, a nervous wreck spraying the ball everywhere and runs leaking like a sieve. Was Australia going to repeat the 359-2?  Southee cleaning out Finch squashed that theory quick fast and got a nation of 4 million sighing with relief.

2. The Old Pro - The bespectacled king finally has the luxury of an actual bowling attack to work his magic around. His spell changed everything as no Aussie managed to make anything of his seemingly innocuous but unplayable balls. They tried to hit him out and that's when the rot began.

3. Thunderboults - Boult brought back the forgotten art of bowling *at the stumps*, hurrying the new batsman with raw pace and subtle movement and cleaning up the woodwork. A massive upgrade from the English and Indian attacks, maybe that's why Australia avoids us?

4. Greatness is Contagious - The first thing I thought of during the build up advertisement was "I can't wait for McCullum to actually face Johnson". I couldn't have asked for more, BMac was on a mission and he clouted fours and sixes with disdain, bulging left arm or not! Johnson tried to target this smashed arm and even then got pulled away to the fence, now that's raw Kiwi guts.

5. Beware The Wounded Aussie - I warned my fellow couch potatoes that there was a time Shane Bond destroyed Australia only to have Brett Lee issue the same treatment on us for a ridiculous comeback win.  You never discount Australia, and this time Haddin played Bevan and Starc played Lee, a demonic spell that had all of New Zealand wincing and covering their faces.

6. The Final Say - Kane Williamson, our only real class batsman. McCullum is great when he comes off but that won't be all the time, the rest of the batting is a scratchy awful mess in their first few overs especially when facing genuine speed. We wouldn't have reached 100 without The Next Crowe guiding us, remember that.

So what have we learnt?

The Cricket World Cup 2015 is alive and well and so far perhaps the best tournament yet. The 50 over game is truly the 'alternative' from to tests and T20 cricket and it's brand of big bats and small boundaries doesn't promote the arts of proper batting technique, hunting 2s and 3s instead of jogging singles, and scrambling in the field to save 20-30 runs per innings. This is how cricket should be played, all three facets with equal importance.

Secondly, genuine fast bowling is nothing without accuracy, Boult and Starc are fine examples of how it's done and gave us a timely reminder of the lost thrill of cricket stumps in genuine danger.

Now one can only hope for a rematch, if it does happen it will be semi-final or better still the grand final.


But a warning to the Black Caps, Australia will not be this sloppy next time.

When Kiwi's Soared Above India

My initial prediction of 4-1 to New Zealand was met mostly with polite ridicule. Against the world number one ranked team? The World Cup and Champions Trophy holders no less? Blasphemous.

Courtesy of Sir Jadeja I narrowly missed out, 4-0 however at least landed in the right ball park!

But why would anybody have backed New Zealand?

The Hesson-McCullum partnership is really onto something, despite it starting off with the Taylorgate scandal. Since then Taylor is back and poking his tongue out more than ever and that's not all, New Zealand have constructed a team based on consistent selections, depth in all positions, and a splash of genuine pace along with the usual outstanding fielding and sportsmanship.

© Getty

In the bad old days they only had fielding and sportsmanship, but now this team is a threat in all three formats. With the World Cup around the corner and that too at home, everybody should be on their guard against this dark horse of cricket that might just steal the show.

So what's wrong with the Indians?

India was not terrible unlike the 2002 tour. They were not terrible at all, rather they were the textbook definition of average.

Two guys showed up:

• Superstar Virat continuing his seemingly never-ending purple patch, arrogantly dismissing cricket balls from his presence while independent of his world GPS co-ordinates.
• Captain Cool ensured his average was as cool as ever despite required run rates blowing up faster than the population of Bangalore.

The rest mostly indulged in a performance of collective nothingness:

• Rohit Sharma! Fresh from an ODI double century! Dealing in binary scoring shots with the occasional slog for 6.  Average 29.00, strike rate 71.78
• Shikadhawan! Man of the Champions Trophy! Seems to have left his mojo somewhere in England. Average 20.25, strike rate 66.94
• Project Raina! Ready to cement the #4 position! Oh wait they gave up on that bright idea last tour... Average 28.00
• Ajinkya Rahane! .... who? Average 10.20, strike rate 58.62

Add to the recipe some expensive, listless bowling and you have one very bland cake topped with some amazing Kohli flavoured icing. It says a lot when one Kiwi on debut took more wickets in one match than every Indian bowler (bar one) in the entire series.

Where are Yuvraj Singh and Zaheer Khan? India would not have won the World Cup without them. Dinesh Karthik? Cheteshwar Pujara? Superior players forced to make way for Delhi and Chennai Super Kings buddies.

This is not the best Indian team. This is a collection of flat deck supermen. They can hammer down 400 at will provided everything is tailor made for them, but can be pretty clueless otherwise.  

What Will Happen Now?

When the dust settles, this series will be talked about as little as possible in India and a nice friendly home series will be set up to make up for lost batting averages.

There are two test matches coming up, and New Zealand are proving they are no slouches there either in recent times. India are still stronger on paper.

Will India redeem themselves or go home without a single victory?

Oh Black Caps... How Ye Flatter to Deceive

It was a cool winters evening in New Zealand and here I was, a humble supporter tuning into the late night cricket, brimming with optimism at the prospect of chasing down a reachable 239 to achieve glorious victory at Lords.  We had come fresh of a hard fought 0-0 stalemate at home with the 'moral victory' (if such a thing counts for anything at all), the apple was ripe for the picking to give it back to the motherland at no other than the home of cricket itself.

Mere minutes later alas, it was 29-6 at lunch and I amongst the few cheering the visitors on had no choice but to cave in and choose the infinitely more comforting warmth of the bedsheets.

What happened?

It seems we were due for a moment of madness after three and a half tests worth of quality cricket, which is usually about three and a half more than what is normally produced. Despite all the doom and gloom that has triggered memory loss amongst most fans for the months before this ill fated match, there is room for optimism.

1. Captain B-Mac
There were all sorts of shenanigans during the Ross Taylor vs Brendon McCullum saga as the battle between the humble crowd favourite and the cocky aggressor raged on. Every armchair critic and talk back caller had an ill opinion usually directed against the latter due to the poor handling of Taylor.

Seriously, you want this guy?  © Getty

But it is the latter who prevailed, and dare I say for the better. Yes he is cocksure and smarmy, but he's also an innovator as opposed to a reactor. When he came on board things started happening, he and Hesson have ensured us consistent selections, an aggressive mini-Australian attitude and the best use of McCullum with the bat, with middle order blasts as opposed to all or nothing approach when opening.

Under him we have seen an ODI series victory in South Africa and the 8th ranked black caps giving it to the 2nd ranked English. We needed a leader, not a nice guy. Yes we have seen a fair amount of crap with it, but ranging between extremes is still better than a constant hopeless lull of mediocrity.

2. An actual fast bowling unit
We can thank our bowling coach Shane Bond for this one. How is it that a nation of green tops couldn't produce seamers for years? Perhaps they were always there but we didn't know how to unearth them (or in the case of Neil Wagner, import them from South Africa). Suddenly we have three seamers with a bit of pace to go with their swing ability and we have Tim Southee bowling like a spearhead and not a buffoon with a big mouth.

Most importantly from a New Zealand perspective they are young and fit, the keyword being fit as Kiwi bowlers break down faster than Auckland's public transport.

3. What about the batsman?
Kane Williamson is a class act and will be the best thing we have produced since sliced bread and Martin Crowe. We have the hit and miss whackjobs of Taylor and McCullum but honestly little else. The others will have their days along with a few too many off days along side that. And when they all have an off day... well that is when 68 all out happens.

The Bottom Line
New Zealand will not be #8 for long, mark my words.  This is slowly becoming the best test team we have produced since the days of the early 2000s when we were sticking it to the Aussies and the English through Nathan Astle mutilating cricket balls and Shane Bond cricket bails.

So heres to better days than day 4 at Lords 2013.

World Cup 2011 - The Playoffs Preview

The pool play has descended to a close. The business end of the world cup has begun.

In terms of the top eight, there are few surprises here, with only Ireland posing a true challenge (Bangladesh posing a fake one). South Africa and Pakistan, despite one choke each, look the most well rounded and consistent of the lot. Of the rest, only Sri Lanka look composed, the others are a complete lottery. This is quite easily the most open playoffs in any of the previous world cups. Even though the matches could well turn out one sided, predicting four winners is a very tough ask. Lets try it anyway.

Pakistan vs West Indies
The Paper Says..
Pakistan will no doubt be hungry for a semi final showdown against India, and showed against Australia that most of the cogs are operating smoothly, with batting and K.Akmal being the only real questions. The West Indies have the players to win the whole thing, but fail to win the mental battle and easily throwing away good starts.

Key Player
Umar Gul is definitely wide awake in this tournament, and has troubled just about every team he has come up against. He is the sort of guy that can rip apart a flaky middle order, and the West Indies are pretty flaky at best.


Dark Horse
Kieron Pollard. One just gets the feeling that this could be his day. He only really got going with the bat against Ireland, and a Pollard special could end up separating the two teams. Special mention also to Darren Bravo, a volcano waiting to erupt.


Predicted Winner: Pakistan


India vs Australia

The Paper Says..

This could be the match of the tournament. Both teams are potential winners, at least in their own minds. Both have glaring flaws which should prevent them from winning it all. Both are arrogant, hungry, and determined not to lose at any cost. Is your mouth watering yet? Lets just hope there is no watering from the rain gods.

Key Player
Brett Lee. He was the only one really troubling the Pakistanis, and his solid run of form should give the Indians plenty to think about. Especially given that he can extract bounce, one of the key weaknesses among the Indian batsmen. (Remember the last T20 world cup?).

Dark Horse
R. Ashwin. He looked good against the West Indies, gave Australia problems in the warm up game, and they have a history of struggling with new spinners.

Like when this guy used to actually take wickets. © AFP

Predicted Winner: Australia to lose, rather than India to win

South Africa vs New Zealand

The Paper Says..

Everyone is predicting an absolute walkover here. In theory there is no reason at all why New Zealand should challenge this outfit, which is superior from #1 to #11. That is exactly why South Africa should beware. Complacency, and dare I say choking, certainly looms here. New Zealand have nothing to lose, have a team full of pocket rockets, and could very easily pull a surprise. They could also very easily crumble into a heap. This is the hardest game to call.

Key Player

Dale Steyn. He could turn this match into a farce very quickly. New Zealand's best ploy would be to counter attack him a la Sehwag, otherwise its goodnight.

Dark Horse

Brendon McCullum. Can he do what Stephen Fleming did in 2003? He is due for a good score against a good opponent, it is just a matter of time before his mad swinging finally clicks. If it really is his day, then New Zealand could quite easily chalk up the 300.

Predicted Winner: South Africa

Sri Lanka vs England

The Paper Says..

This bunch reminds me of the English football team. Lots of hype and promise and so little deliverance. They have been a poor show in this tournament, only turning up for half a game or not at all. They simply don't deserve to beat the well rounded and disciplined Sri Lankan team. 

Key Player

Kumar Sangakkara. He is in prime form and all eyes will be on him to lead from the front. Psychologically he is the wicket that England should be targeting, if there is a chink in the armour, it is in the middle/lower batting order.

Dark Horse

Eoin Morgan. He is the annoying type of player that can suddenly turn a match and steal it from under your nose. It is a mystery why he was not selected in the first place, but now that he is back in the team and due for a big score, he could be the one to cause an upset.

Predicted Winner: Sri Lanka

The Bottom Line
I don't think I have been this excited over a cricketing contest in many many years, possibly ever. The big teams have been locked in, every match is a do or die, and everybody has a chance to win. There is only one more thing left to say really.

Let the games begin.

Images courtesy of Getty Images, AFP and Associated Press, via Cricinfo.com

World Cup 2011 - India vs Bangladesh Verdict

And so Sehwag proves me wrong on two accounts in a frantic opening match. 

1. He actually did manage to bat through most of the innings.
2. He did mean business when he said this was the 'revenge match'.

I've eaten my words.

Bangladesh missed Mortaza, their only real fast bowling weapon. The rest are a worry. In terms of spinners, Sehwag can make even Murali look silly, so they need not take the onslaught to heart. It was one of those batting efforts so typical of what India are capable of at home. All the sides had better beware because if the Indian batting clicks, they could take the world cup at a canter. 

But.

1. Bangladesh Got To 283

And that too with relative ease. Tamim and Shakib in particular looked pretty comfortable with this Indian bowling attack. They are steady and economical at best, with Sreesanth spraying it around like Navjot Sidhu commentary. When the Indian batting does eventually fail, which it will at least once, the lack of wicket taking ability could be their undoing.

2. The Fielding Is Poor

Watching them in the outfield, they still strike me as a lazy and unfit bunch. I saw plenty of mis-fields and poor efforts, as if they were in cruise mode when Bangladesh were chasing. That is a terrible attitude, and India need to take a leaf out of the Australian book here. If on top, stay on top. In contrast Bangladesh at least were fielding with skill and energy.

The Bottom Line

India have sprinted off the mark in great style and have set the batting benchmark very high. Bangladesh have shown a big hole in their game with their pace attack, but not every team has a Sehwag to dismantle spin like its a joke. I still think they can take something away from the opener.

Final Digression...

Brendon McCullum, why the frantic, trigger-happy bat swinging, as if confused between the India and Kenya run chase.

I'll bet the Australians are scared stiff now. © Getty Images

The Black Caps - Why Rotation Fails

Just weeks away from the 2011 World Cup, the New Zealand cricket management decided to enforce the rotation policy and give a wide pool of players a trial run in various batting positions.

Come again?

Lets reel off reasons why this won't work.

1. The selectors appeared to have settled down their batting lineup at least, and despite the horrible ODI losing streak, there was no doubt that these were our best batsmen. Tells us a fair bit about the state of NZ cricket though. 
2. We do not have the depth to afford such luxuries. India can find a dozen street cricketers who will make our bowlers look silly. Australia can drop and forget cricketers like Bichel, Bracken, Stuart Clark (and Bevan... and Blewett... and Mark Waugh...). We can't.
3. After spending months grooming Brendon McCullum as an opening batsmen, they suddenly decide he is our new lower order enforcer? Dumb, remembering that our lower order bats quite well anyway.
4. It doesn't look like either the captain, former players or newly appointed coach agree with it.

"You'd imagine the purpose of the exercise with this series is to be as well prepared as possible to play in India for the World Cup but after four games you'd have to say that hasn't been achieved in any way, shape or form." - John Morrison
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/cricket/news/article.cfm?c_id=29&objectid=10703661

To highlight Vettori's confusion about this whole fiasco, he was quoted to be "fiddling with the guys" during the toss in a recent match. Oh dear.

So why? Maybe heads had to roll after being constantly drubbed in the ODI format of the game (but isn't that why we sack coaches). Maybe New Zealand just took it one step further to really shake up the hornets nest.

Rotation didn't help these guys. © Laurence Griffiths / Getty Images

So lets play selector. My chosen XI reads:

1. McCullum
2. Ryder
3. Guptill
4. Taylor
5. Styris
6. Franklin
7. Nathan McCullum
8. Vettori
9. Southee
10. Mills
11. Milne

12th Man. Grant Elliot, who is a good utility that can slot in anywhere in the middle to lower order. Decent batsman and a handy bowler. The ideal stop gap.

Unlucky. Kane Williamson. He has the technique, and looks like a long term no.3 or 4 to me. He just looks a confused about his role in the ODI game at the moment, and the top four places are already stable.

Why Milne? Give him a shot, he is an unknown factor who can get it up at 150km/h. Could be a real surprise package and there are no other decent seam bowlers that demand a spot. Remember Bond was a gamble too when he started out. If he fails, we have plenty of backup bowling.

Why not Oram? Just looks too rusty after all those injuries. Harsh luck for him, but he doesn't bring enough to the table at the moment.