The Kiwi Corruption Files

Corruption. IPL.

Ironic that these two are simultaneously headlining the world of cricket today. Oddly enough it's not India nor Pakistan who are at the forefront of the latest scandals to emerge, instead the beacon is shining on the calm and friendly backwaters of New Zealand cricket.  Who would have thought?

How Bad is it?
Whether corruption exists or not is not even a question. It's there, it's been there for a couple of decades at least. It's been there in plain sight in front of administrators, players and audiences alike. Until recently all have chosen to sweep it under the carpet and pretend it's not real. We all stand with our eyes closed and fingers crossed with an elephant in the room, chanting "if I can't see you, you can't see me".

The real question is not if the elephant is there, but instead just how gigantic it is. I'm not even sure I want to know. If it's so bad that the ICC pretend it doesn't happen, the full truth will get ugly.

An example of the ignorance: the famous India-Pakistan World Cup Semi Final. The ICC watched on all smiles as arguably the two most corrupt teams in the sport engaged in a scripted farce.

The Butt-Asif-Amir affair had undeniable evidence, only then was something done about it. What about those hundreds of cases of obvious under-performing and rigging that didn't have concrete evidence?

But How Did New Zealand Get Involved?
Before the IPL kicked off there was this awful thing called the ICL. This 'rebel' league was basically a hunting ground for disgruntled ex-players to make easy undeserved money through staged exhibition games which nobody cared about. Heck even the ICC wanted nothing to do with it, and that says something.

And as far as disgruntled ex-players goes, New Zealand had plenty to offer. We fielded enough players to almost form a special New Zealand ICL Team:

- Astle
- Cairns
- Hamish Marshall (remember him?)
- McMillan
- Harris
- Parore
- Bond
- Andre Adams
- Tuffey

... and in plain sight we have a potential list of corrupt kiwi players. And in fact a pretty solid team, that lot would probably have beaten the real black caps. Notice how almost all of them disappeared completely from the cricket world other than to take on match fixing allegations. The exceptions being Bond and McMillan.

Of that list, three guys have been named as possible riggers of the game. Lets spotlight these:

Lou Vincent

Who?
He kicked off his career in fine style by smashing a McGrath-Gillespie-Lee-Warne attack around (in Perth no less). Destined for big things, it instead was a career of licorice all-sorts consisting of handing out towellings as an opener, some wicketkeeping, a patient double hundred against Sri Lanka (he was dropped from tests for good not long later) and finally re-emerging from the IPL as a T20 gun for hire wielding a ridiculous mongoose bat.

Thank god it never took off

Why do we care?
Vincent started this whole mess by doing the unthinkable... actually fessing up. He openly admits to match fixing, very rarely ever done given how much of it really goes on.  This might trigger a chain of events that will blow the lid off the whole thing as apparently he has a 'treasure trove' of information. To be honest I think whatever he has is probably still not the whole truth.

Daryl Tuffey

Who?
Once had Ganguly terrified of him, he was never a particularly bad bowler and probably would have made a decent career next to a spearhead. That spearhead was the always-injured Bond, which exposed Tuffey directly to some Jayasuriya assaults which would keep him out of the game. Also famous for partaking in dodgy videos.

Why do we care?
The over from hell.

Seriously? 4 no balls and 3 wides? There were no alarm bells ringing after that?
Fleming had none of it and took him off for the rest of the game, and Tuffey barely played again at the top level. Interestingly Cairns at mid-off gives him a re-assuring pat on the back during the over. Hmmm...

Christopher X Cairns

Who?
The kiwi all-rounder legend that almost was. At times he was as good as any and could take teams apart with both bat and ball. Sadly this hardly ever happened, and you can only single out a handful of truly great performances (but they were bloody great).  In the context of the Black Caps he was looked upon fondly and much beloved, and he has a better record than the vastly overrated Flintoff.

Cairns had a strangely sudden retirement and I had the honour of being there live for his tragic farewell innings of 2.

Why do we care?
He was apparently pulling all the kiwi strings in the ICL with the dodgy briefcases and Dubai trips. Vincent named him. Squeaky Clean McCullum named him. He retired completely out of the blue, slammed ODI games as being boring and was the captain of the ICL team.  Lalit Modi, the king of cricket corruption had the audacity to sue Cairns for corruption.

The buck stops at Mr. X.



Maybe I am just being harsh, Cairns and Tuffey are pleading innocent... what if they really are?

And maybe the ICL was just a collection of annoyed players who weren't getting picked, I mean its not like anyone actually came out years of retirement just to play in the ICL right?

Whoops...

Shoaib Akhtar Speaks (The Truth?)

Autobiographies really are something. It is a time when self important sporting celebrities get to wave their creative pencil and indulge themselves in a self-made ego trip. Most of them are ignored as they lack the creativity, or the writing skill, or are just plain boring outside of the game. Then you get the select few personalities who carry off interesting laughs and anecdotes and make the experience a pleasure to read.

And then there is Shoaib Akthar.

Anything less than borderline insanity from this man would have been a let down, and lo and behold he has delivered. When it comes to stirring up a storm in a tea cup, he is a natural. Unlike Afridi though, Shoaib is articulate, and his points dive into grey and debatable areas instead of being dismissed as tripe.

What did he have to say in the aptly titled "Controversially Yours"? Does he make a point or is he simply a bag of wind?

1. Sachin and Dravid Are Not Match Winners

In Dravid's case, total nonsense. He single handedly won games for India in both forms of the game and was often the last man standing amongst dominoes. To suggest that Dravid "didn't know the art of finishing the game" is nothing more than a cheap shot at the great man. Credibility 0/10.

Above the belt pelase. © Getty Images

In Sachin's case though, maybe he has a point. Sachin through the nineties was a frustrated lone figure who got nil support from his inept team mates. You can't fault him for being unable to do it all alone, everybody else were looking after their own pockets. The Sachin of the 00's was a different figure though, he finally had adequate batting backup and was allowed to pile up the runs carefully. Guilty of being a run glut, yes. Guilty of not winning matches, it can also be argued. He has far less Dravid's and Laxman's in his innings vault. Credibility 5/10.

2. Sachin Was Scared Of Him.

Rubbish. This is the guy who manfully fought Wasim & Waqar, Lee & McGrath, Ambrose & Walsh, Steve Bucknor... the list goes on. While not always coming off the winner of the battles, never ever backed down, be it 16 or 36 years old. Why should he be scared of Shoaib? Has he forgotten the 03 World Cup? Credibility 0/10.

3. The IPL Cheated Him

Believable, and he won't be the last. The IPL is built on a foundation of masses, greed and corruption. He joined a team run by an arrogant Bollywood star in a tournament run by an arrogant nobody Lalit Modi. With a set-up like that, it was inevitable. A paint job will only cover the cracks in a dam, soon this whole circus will be flooded by a crashing wave. Shoaib should have known better than to take part. Credibility 8/10.

4. Everyone Ball Tampers

Correction, Pakistan ball tampers. And no it shouldn't be legal, where do you draw the line, a maximum fingernail length in the ICC code of conduct? My only hope is that the pioneers of swing such as Imran aren't exposed to have resorted to dirty methods in the past, although I get the feeling it just may happen. Credibility 8/10.

Michael Jackson impersonations are perfectly legal though. © AFP

5. Shoaib Malik Shouldn't Have Been Captain

A stab at his own team mate? Only he would dare, but again he actually has a point here. Malik was an above average ODI batsman at best, with a shaky test career and a dodgy bowling action, with an eye for female tennis players. Why was he made captain? On paper it looks like a nothing decision, possibly influenced by those that favoured Malik. But in reality one must also consider that Pakistani teams were often unstable and a logical choice for captain was not always clear. Again debatable. Credibility 7/10.

6. He Was Humiliated

Shoaib didn't spare anyone, even lashing out at Wasim Akram and partially blaming him for not fulfilling his career to its potential. I'm not sure how big a part politics played, but they were certainly present as he was inexplicably robbed of a swansong finish against India in the World Cup semi final. It must be said though that despite whatever corruption and vendettas he may have had to face, he was an unlikeable and destructive person to begin with. Most of what we had to put up with was a result of his own actions and he has nobody to blame. Credibility 5/10.

Surprisingly all in all, the points Shoaib Akhtar made in his autobiography were not entirely a load of pies. While dealing out low blows to Indian batsman, he dealt to his former team mates and management with equal measure and venom. Will it have an impact? Probably not, Shoaib Akhtar lashing out is really about as credible as...

This. © Getty Images

The BCCI vs The DRS - The Height of Arrogance

Its not old news that our friends at the BCCI continue to utterly refuse the DRS system, their secretary saying as much once more yesterday. The previous reaction from most of the world including myself would be to shake our heads in annoyance, probably mutter a few profanities under our breath (quietly), and get on with life. Today it is different however, today I am compelled to dig deeper, perhaps get an understanding of the psyche behind all this, is there a motive underneath it all?

If this picture was the DRS run on the BCCI decision,
they would call this one not out despite the evidence, just because they can.

Let us try to formulate reasons as to why this ridiculous situation is with us:

Because Sachin And MS Say So
The two most powerful figures in Indian cricket, possibly all cricket, possibly all of India, claim that the technology is not 100% accurate. Perhaps the BCCI is no more than just a spineless extension of their voices? In that case, who are Tendulkar and Dhoni to make a critique on the DRS technology? Its like a McDonald's cashier having the power to stop them selling coke because he doesn't agree with the level of fizz. There is usually a players association present, a body that is supposed to be representative of the players, I haven't heard a squeak from them, if there even is one.

Because The Secretary Says So
Our friend the BCCI secretary, N. Srinivasan, claims boldly that they are a "structured organization" who "make their own decisions". Lets back track a second, who on earth is N. Srinivasan to be the judge on this? Does he even have a cricketing background? He is an industrialist from Chennai, who is he to be the face of the BCCI? As far as I am concerned he is no more qualified to make these statements than Queen Latifah. If there really was a structured organization, the players association would answer to him, and he would answer to the ICC. In a land where money talks, this is what happens.

Common sense was not in the job description.

Because The ICC Don't Say A Word
Srinivasan is the secretary for the Indian cricket board, not world cricket. He should have absolutely no say in this matter, yet as always there is a deathly silence from the so called governing body of world cricket. There needs to be a China mentality here, the ICC should be in charge, period. The sad reality of it all is that the ICC is merely a curtain, a faded doormat for one nation's selfish cricket board. In a recent survey, 94% of players agree that ICC does not act in the best interests of cricket, and 69% agree that the BCCI has an unfair influence on the ICC. The people are not blind, only the people at the top are.


Because The DRS Is Not Accurate
The big argument is that they cannot guarantee 100% accuracy and therefore the system is invalid. This is an unbelievably idiotic statement. Imagine you were making a return on investment, "yes yes we know that you can give me a nine dollar return on average, but you can't guarantee me ten dollars! Therefore I will settle for fifty cents. And so will the rest of the world because I said so". Physics, mathematics and statistics, the very foundations of our scientific knowledge are based on assumptions. Why do unlike poles attract and like poles repel? They just do, the same way the BCCI repels intelligence.

And So What Happens From Here?
As usual. Nothing.

West Indies vs Pakistan - The Series That Wasn't

It was almost as if it never happened. The Pakistani's quietly took away a 3-2 victory over the West Indies, and with a minimum of fuss and exposure, we will move on to the test series soon. Blink and you'd have missed it, particularly since cricket headlines have been surrounded with "Gayle Smashes Unbelievable Ton!" and the like.

But lets wonder for a minute, what if both the West Indies and Pakistan had picked the absolute best teams available to them? What if the cricket world was free of injuries, the IPL, spot fixing, and dodgy selections?

And the odd spontaneous trip to London. © Associated Press

The Real Pakistan

1. Salman Butt (c)

2. Mohammad Hafeez

3. Ahmed Shahzad

4. Mohammad Yousuf

5. Misbah Ul-Haq

6. Shahid Afridi

7. Abdul Razzaq

8. Zulqarnain Haider (w)

9. Mohammad Aamir

10. Umar Gul

11. Mohammad Asif

Unlucky: Saeed Ajmal, very good backup at least.

Unwanted: The trigger happy Akmals and Younis Khan, who looks more and more weary all the time.

Look at that bowling line-up, easily the best in the world in fact if they fielded that squad. Afridi is a little over animated (if there is such a thing) as captain, and would prefer Butt to take the reins.

The Real West Indies


1. Chris Gayle (c)

2. Adrian Barath

3. Darren Bravo

4. Ramnaresh Sarwan

5. Shiv Chanderpaul

6. Kieron Pollard

7. Dwayne Bravo

8. Devon Thomas (w)

9. Kemar Roach

10. Jerome Taylor

11. Devendra Bishoo


Unlucky: Darren Sammy. I like the guy, but he just doesn't quite contribute enough, more like a poor man's Vettori at this stage. Fidel Edwards, Ravi Rampaul and Andre Russell wait in the wings as adequate backup. I like Dwayne Smith, he could slot in as a backup Pollard, who I don't like but admit has talent.


Unwanted: Suliemann Benn, full marks for attitude, but not much for impact. 

No extra points for tossing players around either. © Getty

Who would win that series? It doesn't matter! Look at those line-ups, and even if Pakistan came away 3-2 just like it transpired, the matches would have been infinitely more interesting than what looked like a Pakistan A tour of West Indies A. We would have the dream bowling attack versus the most colorful and explosive batting line-up.

Of the teams listed, only four from either side were in the current teams. In a perfect world the players would be free of politics, greed and corruption, and we would be treated to cricket at its highest quality.


Too bad then that we don't live in a perfect world.

Meet The New West Indies

Otis Gibson wasn't kidding around when he said it was time to clean out the attic.

The latest news is that the three big names of West Indies cricket have got the chop in the upcoming series against Pakistan. Thats right, no Gayle, no Sarwan, no Chanderpaul. Interesting move, bold move. Ripping out the West Indian spine will do one of two things, either form a new backbone, or collapse into a mush.  Is it fair to blame these three for the woes of the 00's and the sorry world cup run?

No Gayle
Easily the most influential and dynamic player of the team for such a long time. He is the big name, the draw card, the one who captains talk up the toss. He had a poor world cup, but find me a West Indian batsman who didn't. Of the three, I find this the most bitter pill to swallow, the man looks lazy, but he most certainly isn't. It was him to told Suliemann Benn to get lost when he refused to listen to him remember?

No Sarwan
This I agree with. The man looked as scratchy as ever and is completely stuck in the mud. A real shame given that he was promised to succeed Lara as the next big thing, he might well have too if he steered clear of injuries and politics. But for now, he is a dead anchor in the team and there may be a chance we'll never see him again.

No Chanderpaul
This is sad but probably correct move. He has been a barnacle in the side, clutching on and fighting manfully against the waves of mediocrity around him. I for one was a big fan of the Gayle-Chanderpaul opening combination, but nobody else was it seems. Now it has become a bit of an identity crisis, is he a Gilchrist? a Mark Richardson? a Michael Bevan? He had shades of all, but at the moment he is neither, and with another world cup looking pretty unlikely, the walls are closing in on one of the real street fighters of the game.

The end of the road? © Associated Press

Adding to this....

No Pollard
The man has Mumbai Indians commitments folks. Get this quote: "It was mutually determined that Pollard would be best served by being allowed to hone his T20 skills in the Indian Premier League, which will bring future benefit to West Indies cricket..." . What a load of trash. Michael Holding once said he doesn't regard Pollard as a cricketer. I will correct him, he is not a West Indian cricketer. Sadly it won't be long before others follow his lead and play his selfish card, to send the West Indies into further decline.

The only thing being "honed" here is the Pollard bank balance.

Marlon Samuels!
On the positive side, after copping a ban for involvement with bookmakers, the man who once bashed Warne around and earned Steve Waugh's respect is back in the fame. If their upcoming opponents had to deal with corruption bans, it would be an empty plane flying into the Carribean.

It was Pakistan who embarrassed the West Indies in a ridiculous defeat in the quarter final. Who will prevail in what can be termed a revenge match? Depends if Pakistan turn up, and thats a whole different story altogether.

World Cup 2011 - Pakistan vs New Zealand (+ Kamran Akmal)

There is one word that accurately describes this match. 
Absurd. 


Lets take a quick internet field trip, absurdity is:

• inconsistent with reason or logic or common sense
• a ludicrous folly
• a word meaning ridiculous, commonly used by the character Snape

What am I talking about?
Lets recap.

The Absurd Taylor

Scratching and poking around like an absent minded gardener, Ross Taylor batted as if he wanted to be put out of his misery. Playing and missing, miscuing, and taking dodgy singles. Somehow (explained later) he had survived until the 46h over and was on an uncomfortable 76 off 111 balls with a freshly out-of-form Jacob Oram for company. 210 was all New Zealand had to show for their efforts so far.

Will the real Ross Taylor please stand up © Associated Press

But then came a burst that would make Jayasuriya proud. This was one of the most remarkable turn-arounds I have seen in any ODI innings, Taylor and Oram smashed a partnership of 85 runs off 22 balls, the last four overs producing a scarcely believable 92 runs. It included 6 fours and 10 sixes, throwing in five wides for good measure. Remember I am talking 4 overs here, and not against rubbish either, this was Shoaib, Razzaq and Rehman. Suddenly New Zealand had 302, and I am still shaking my head in disbelief. 

Of course this was helped by...

The Absurd Kamran

The word 'failure' in the dictionary should be replaced with a picture of Kamran Akmal. It must have taken some serious restraint for Shoaib Akhtar and Shahid Afridi to resist knocking his block off, after fluffing two regulation Ross Taylor catches. Thats centurion Ross Taylor... in the same over... when he was on 0 and 8. I said before that this man can cost Pakistan the world cup, today was proof.

And stay down. © Getty Images

He is an enigma. It is mind boggling beyond belief how a cricketer, who is hands down the worst wicketkeeper I've ever seen, can escape being dropped or banned (or worse). This guy seems to get away with destroying games and Danish Kaneria's test averages with only that same sheepish, idiotic expression to show for it. Its insulting for him to encourage his bowlers and fielders in the following overs, who is he to chirp up his teammates? If the man cared an ounce for Pakistani cricket, he would retire effective immediately and disappear to a dark corner of the planet and never be seen again.

I don't believe that Kamran's failures are down to pure lack of skill.
Make of that what you will.

World Cup 2011 - Interpreting The Big Talk

And so less than a week away from the opening of the world cup, we have the inevitable bravado and tough talk coming from the various camps. Some of it is justified, some just laughable. Lets take a look at what some of the big boys of world cricket had to say, and how far up in the clouds they are.

Shahid Afridi
"Realistically, with the kind of team we have, we should really make the semi-final and of course we want to play the final and win it - everyone does - but we should make the semi."


Rarely is there a weak Pakistan team on paper. In every World Cup it is the case where they *should* get there, so that point is just media talk according to me.
Cloud Score: 6/10


Virender Sehwag
"This time I'll try to bat 50 overs if I can. I have been trying for 10 years, I'm still trying."

Sehwag is aiming to break the individual 250 barrier. Maybe against the Dutch.
Cloud Score: 8/10

I declare this world cup free of useless cameos. © AFP

AB De Villiers
"We are not focusing on what happened in the past. We have a different look now. In recent times we have been the opposite of chokers."


Oh dear. Look at http://www.espncricinfo.com/south-africa-v-india-2010/engine/match/463151.html. This was a pretty decent sized choke if you ask me. Don't say these things before a world cup. De Villiers could do with a bit of media training.

Cloud Score: 9/10

Daniel Vettori
"There is not much you can do about what's happened in the past but hopefully we can reflect back on the last game, which was a win against Pakistan, and bring that confidence over to the World Cup."

Poor Vettori, only he could scrape up a positive from a streak that reads 14 losses from 16. The man handles the media well, managing to massage the journalists sound optimistic in a team resembling fish in a barrel. 
Cloud Score: 6/10

Hey we won the toss didn't we? © Getty Imanges

Yuvraj Singh
 "It was a tough phase, I've gone through it, definitely my body is feeling better and I'm feeling 100% fit at the right time, which is the World Cup."


Fitness doesn't include being overweight and hopelessly out of form apparently.
Cloud Score: 8/10


Ricky Ponting
"Our lead-up couldn't really be much better, having just beaten a pretty good English side 6-1 at home"


Actually, this is a bad omen for the Aussies. They usually go into world cups with issues and a string of losses. (Last year it was a 3-0 loss to New Zealand). 
Cloud Score: 6/10


Chris Gayle
"The West Indies have a legacy of winning and I want to give my best to win matches for us" 
"I'm going to give it my all, give it my best shot. I am looking to try and dominate the World Cup"


That "winning legacy" ended in the 80's Chris. He may dominate the world cup, the real problem is getting his boys to follow suit.
Cloud Score: 7/10


Haroon Lorgat, the ICC chief executive

'Confident of corruption-free World Cup'

In the land of the IPL? Seriously?

Cloud Score: 10/10

Pakistan vs Corruption - Only Half the Job Done

And so the verdict finally comes out.
http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci-icc/content/current/story/499614.html

• Salman Butt - 10 years 

•  Mohammad Asif - 7 years 

•  Mohammad Amir -  5 years

This includes all cricket, domestic or international. If all the bans were carried out in their entirety, it means that Butt and Asif will probably never return to international cricket (they will be 36 and 35 years old respectively). Only Amir, who will be 23 will be back.

The bans are crucially important to Pakistani and world cricket. They are a symbol of the state of corruption in Pakistan, and the level of tolerance from the ICC. But here is the kicker, the bans are only as good as long as they are actually enforced. 


In Pakistan, ban's seem to disappear like magic and disgusting on-field acts result in a slap on the wrists.

Taking the slang 'cherry' a bit too far.

If this trio end up back on the field before their allotted time, the symbols are crushed. It basically tells us that Pakistan does not take cricketing corruption seriously, and neither does the ICC.

This is what worries me, from the article we see the following:
"...which means that the trio cannot play any official, sanctioned cricket, international or domestic, for a minimum of five years...". Hold on, a minimum of five years?. What happened to the original numbers? 


"The suspended sentences on Butt and Asif have been made conditional on their making no further breaches of the code and participating in an anti-corruption education programme...". So let me get this straight, as long as they make no further breaches, during five years of not playing the game at all, and turning up to a few night classes reminding them that "corruption is bad, naughty boys", their bans will be reduced to that minimum of five?


"It must also be noted that not until the full judgement is released will the picture become fully clear..." In other words, what you just read could be utter tripe.


"Amir will appeal against the decision..." What on earth can the man possibly appeal on? He has no excuse, no refuting evidence, and the lightest of the three bans. He's lucky he even has a cricketing future.


"Now, in theory, the 26-year-old Butt could return after five years...". I give up.

In terms of dealing with corruption, this is the big one, the pinnacle. The evidence indisputable, and the the excuses nil. If this situation gets molly coddled like the rest, then cricket is in serious trouble.

Reading between the lines in the article above, I think we know where this is heading.